Prayer to nothing.

It always has to be something, doesn't it? I always have to be hurting myself. If it's not cutting, it's starvation. If it's not starving it's pills. Beating, and now hair pulling. It's like I have to constantly chip away at myself. Why can't I stop torturing myself?!
Now I wish there was something, someone out there to help me. To make all of this go away. But for a while now I have known I am alone. I am proof that God does not exist.
Just let me feel pretty... let me love myself. Get a part. Laugh and dance. Let me be free.