possible scenarios.....

i keep on playing these different scenerios in my head about what could happen with my uncle......getting a drink and him coming to be by me and then raping me in the garage where no one could hear me.....or raping me in the office and making me be quiet.....or touching me in the office or just being alone with me.....i just fear about being alone with him so much that my anxiety is so strong......i don't feel like cutting or self injuring i just wanna get this party over with......i fear that maybe he'll get angry and he'll tell me to go upstairs and get something and thne he'll come after me or something.....i can't picture him doing any of these things, but i never pictured M to rape me and look what happened there......i HATE having this much anxiety and i just really wish that this stuff had never happened.....i just needed to let it out....i feel a little better now.....