Porn and divorce
After 15 years with my wife, we are getting divorced due to my porn habit. I am in day 15 clean of it. Wish I could have changed sooner. Going to continue to work on me and maybe one day we will both be happy again. Guess you just take it one day at a time.
Replies
JC84,
So sorry to hear this. It's happened to a lot of us, but I know that doesn't make it easier. Still, if you have questions or need guidance, happy to help in any way I can.
George @ PornHelp
Thanks George. I am currently trying to locate therapists with my insurance that can help me along with support groups. I live in a rural area so it's a little difficult. Also trying to find online support groups as well
I'd be happy to help you get connected with any groups/therapists.
If you're comfortable saying, what's your area, generally?
I am about 2 hours south of Richmond, VA and 2 hours north of Raleigh, NC. Also about and hour and half east if Lynchburg, VA. Not sure how much that helps. But I could use some help. So far haven't had much luck finding any on my own. Main thing I have come across looking for therapist is that a CBT may be what could help me the most.
You're right about a CBT. That's a pretty good default if you can't find someone who specializes. But let me see if I can come up with some other options for you. Hang tight.
PS, hope you're surviving the weather ok.
Ok, here are some ideas:
12-STEP GROUPS:
These can be a great way to connect with others who are going through the same thing. Each group has a slightly different personality, so I'd suggest trying a couple out to see how they fit your personality and going a couple of times to each one. I've found two meetings that may be in your driveable area:
There's a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting in Suffolk, VA on Monday evenings from 6:30 to 7:30 (http://www.saaofsoutheasternva.org/Meetings/Default)
There's a Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meeting in Farmville, VA on Tuesday mornings at 10:00 a.m. (https://slaafws.org/meetings)
In addition, all of the major 12-step groups have regular online/telephone meetings. If you're unable to make a meeting in person, these are a decent alternative. Here's a list of links to the major 12-step groups (http://www.pornhelp.org/12-step-groups.html). Their websites have easy-to-find listings of online/phone meetings.
THERAPISTS:
A Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist is pretty much the gold standard of sexual addiction therapy.
Closest to where I think you are, there's a therapist in Roanoke Rapids, NC who's in the final stages of getting licensed as a CSAT. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/helen-kafer-varnadoe-msw-lcsw-lcas-roanoke-rapids-nc/221306). She is a Christian-based counselor, which may or may not be your thing.
There are two CSAT practices in the Norfolk/VA Beach area (https://www.meridianpsych.net & https://www.impactccc.com).
There is also a decent selection of other CSAT practices in the three cities you mentioned. If you have the flexibility to drive for an initial appointment, those practices may be willing to do some portion of your meetings via Skype/FaceTime. Here's a search tool for finding them: https://www.iitap.com/therapists-search/.
If you're interested in any of these practices, I'm happy to dig deeper and/or reach out to them to make inquiries if that would help you.
ONLINE SUPPORT
This group is pretty good. NoFap.com also has an extensive forum broken down into subcategories by age/gender/marital situation, etc. I know people who have also had a good experience with r/Tribe (https://rtribe.org/#top).
Porn Addicts Anonymous (http://www.pornaddictsanonymous.org/index.html) doesn't have much of a live-meeting presence, but I've found its online forums to be good for people looking for daily support.
That's a start. Let me know if you find any of this helpful and/or if you'd like me to dig deeper or make some outreach.
George @ PornHelp.org
Thank you for all the information George! Sorry for the delay in replying. Is there a way to contact you by e-mail? That way I can give you a better idea of my location. The place in Roanoke rapids sounds good. I would like to get more information on that as well as therapist in Lynchburg.
Sure. Send me an email at info@pornhelp.org.
George