POOHY--AWAKE!
YOU THINK THAT I WOULD BE FAST ASLEEP IN MY PEANUT SHELL ROOM, NO, POOHY I'M AWAKE AND ITS 3:00 AM, WOW, LOOK AT THE CRAZY 3, OH WELL. I'M JUST SO STRESSED THE HELL OUT OVER THIS DAM CAR ACCIDENT. I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED, I'M A SAFE DAM DRIVER. THIS IS ONE REASON I'M SO AWAKE, MY STRESS LEVEL HAS REACHED ITS PEAK---BLAH. MY NERVES ARE SHOT, I JUST WANT TO BE ALL ALONE, CRAWL UNDER A ROCK SOME WHERE LIKE A WORM. DARN BRUISE ON MY ARM SOME HOW LOOKS BIGGER, MY SUGAR IS SKY HIGH, MY LEGS AND BACK IS KILLING ME, WOULD NOT WISH THIS DARN PAIN ON MY WORSE ENEMY, ALTHOUGH I DON'T HAVE ANY ENEMYS THAT I AM AWARE OF, BUT ONE NEVER KNOWS. CAN'T SLEEP ALSO CAUSE THIS PEANUT SHELL IS HOT, HAVE 2 FANS GOING, ITS NOT EVEN SUMMER, LET THE KID MOAN, I'M GETTING A AIR CONDITIONER, I HAVE TO. NOW SHE IS TALKING ABOUT LEAVING THE OLDEST HOME, SHE HAS TO SEARCH FOR A CAR QUICK, WE ONLY HAVE THE RENT A CAR TILL THE 16TH, NOT MUCH TIME, AND NO MONEY FOR A DOWN PAYMENT, THIS IS ALL MY FAULT, I SHOULD HAVE NEVER GONE OUT THAT DAY, I WISH MY CREATOR WOULD JUST CALL ME HOME ALREADY, WONDER WHAT HE IS WAITING ON??? I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ON HELLS EARTH, I HATE LIFE, I HATE STRUGLING, I HATE WAITING FOR PAROLE BOARD DECISIONS, ITS LIKE WHAT DON'T I HATE, IF ONLY I COULD LOVE ME, OR EVEN LIKE ME, I DON'T, AND ITS ONLY GETTING WORSE, I SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE, BUT COULD SOME ONE ELSE CARRY ALL THE BURDENS IN MY LIFE, I NO LONGER WANT THEM, NOR NEED THEM, MY PLATE IS FULL, I FEEL AS IF THIS IS THE TWIGHLIGHT ZONE, GRRRRRRRRR, WANT IT ALL JUST TO GO THE HELL AWAY...... JUST ME.....
Replies
My dear sweet lynn, it\'s hard, i know, one day the clouds will pass, remember your savior, nothing we face in our lives compare to the struggles he made,the burdens he carried and the cross he carried and died on. My dear friend, our creator\'s time works on a different clock than ours, we can\'t catch watch the clock, we must go with the flow, we must face struggles, we must continue with faith,not ask questions, you must learn to turn your stress around and make for positive energy for yourself. When it comes to our creator patience is a necessity we can pray but everything still happens in his time, not our time - when we pray - and it very OK to pray for things for yourself, we must also praise - i praise God that your peanut shell maybe hot, but it\'s not a cardboard box under a bridge, I praise God that you have a back and legs and can feel pain, so many people are paralyzed or missing limbs i praise that you ahve a rental car and aren\'t having to walk right now, i praise God that you have the fans and the electricity to run those fans, i praise God for your enduring spirit, i praise God that even though you are waiting on the parole board, that you have somebody to love, somebody that you are waiting for - you question your existence right now, but do you realize how important you are to so many people in the Families of Prisoners site you are a wonderful support, if you hadn\'t met Freddie, you wouldn\'t have challenged yourself, completed school and done such fabulous research and pulled together some fantastic information, even if it\'s not productive for him, it\'s was productive and knowledge for you. My daughter used to tell me when i was really bummed, Mom - if life was perfect why would we need heaven. My dear friend, it seems rough and I will pray for you and peace that you seek, but you are a blessing to so many - we don\'t need the rewards of our blessings to others, it just happens - you must turn your stress over to God - take the burdens from him and give them to him - and let him handle them in his way and his time. You are a parent and you take the burdens from your children so that they don\'t have to deal with him, God is your father, give your burdens to him. My dear friend, you are a blessing and i pray for you - please try and rest, pray for sleep - don\'t think about things you can not control, give those concerns to your father. May the Angels come and cover you with blessings, security, peace. I am so sorry for your struggles. Bless you my friend.