POOF!
It is funny (and to me very sad) how quickly one can go from being everything to nothing just like that. After a chance meeting and spending time opening up and becoming a sounding board for one another, it was amazing to be able to have another who cared and could not wait to share (or hear about your day).
Fast forward, a brief period of time, many miles apart and both no longer working toward some of their original promises or goals, but focusing on their own original deals. As I think, I remember how things were to be ... and now see how they have become. We are both still there to love and support each other, but there are twists in the original path. Coming across another who is more in tune with their needs , wants and desires. There is naturally an attraction there. Now they become the one to turn to to share their days, concerns, wants and dreams.
Now POOF I am an occasional thought rather than that sounding board. Not quite what I had hoped, but better than nothing (I suppose)
Replies
That's called life, Kim and the lesson is in how we deal with it. Do we retreat into ourselves and wallow in self pity or do we use it as motivation to go a little further and try a little harder to get what we want. Every decision we make starts with a thought and every thought results in form at some point so don't let this hold you back, love yourself enough to climb that mountain because when you get to the top you will look down at all the attachments that held you back all those years, and you will be beaming with pride from head to toe from having overcome all of them.
That's my motivation speech for today. My suggestion would be to set some goals which you know you can achieve. That will build your confidence and then you can set some higher goals, but don't ever give up!
God Bless
Rejection sux in any form.
Your not rejected here on DS so stick round and have you whirl on the bill n bob show! We will promise to be entertaining.
Right Bob?
Hugs Kim.
“ Better than nothing (I suppose)”
Being an afterthought is better than nothing? I would disagree. This is an example of that victim thing. I don’t know the entire situation but I am guessing you either saw more in the connection than was really there, you were mislead, or the relationship changed because the needs were no longer the same. Sometimes relationships and friendships are temporary or evolve and I think that is ok. I have had brief friendships that in hindsight I think served a purpose for a moment in time when it was needed and then it just runs out of gas because circumstances change. But, I do know it can hurt and be disappointing when it happens.
Quite honestly I think friendships/ relationships that start out online can be very intense (assuming this is the case). Guards are down and people spill their guts and show vulnerability in ways they might not do in person so quickly or so boldly because you don’t get body language, visual cues, facial expressions, how they are with other people, etc. There is a lot of information missing, stuff that would be more apparent in “real life.” Those things matter.
Anyway, don’t let this drag you down. Learn from the experience what you can. Brush aside the rest. Set your own goals for yourself. You have support and you have yourself, two things right there that are pretty great
rmb you have a very valid point. I apparently do have an issue and instinct to automatically retreat into that victim space first and foremost. This is probably because my first instinct is to toss my hands in the air and give up. (and then retreating into the old mindset that, once again, things are not meant to be. .) Then I sulk and boo hoo for a few days and pull myself back up again.
I am a firm believer that all does happen for a reason and sometimes our paths cross just long enough to teach us a lesson. We both did agree that if nothing else, what we did (and still do) share... another who d0es care about and support each other .(as well as many good mem0ries of a week we both did get something we needed.. time to enjoy many features of a very scenic state.) is a definite plus.
The thing is , initially we were both so excited and got so caught up in everything. As time goes on, distance is between us still with plans to meet up here and there now no longer discussed. He has too much on the table, I am feeling isolated and lonely at times when facing continuous curveballs and challenges . I do miss my sounding board at times. I do think you hit the nail on the head ... feeling forgotten (or rather replaced) does bring me back to what I am all too familiar with.... being that afterthought. and it does again (or still) hurt.
But as I continue to schedule more plans and appts, taking care of whatever does pop my way, I am getting used to being back to life again... realizing I finally do have one. I just miss having noone to tell all about it. (And you all are the poor souls who get to listen to my endless babbling. So sorry, lol)
Thank you all for your feedback, hugs and kind words.