Polar World!

It’s another day on the bipolar bus ride filled with confusion, headaches, paranoia, and of course the all great delusions.  It gets complicated sometimes to separate the difference between realities Vs. the tricks something, someone, or my mind is playing on me. Today was a more positive day I guess although the day is not over I plan on working out and just relaxing maybe reading some in this book called 13 cubed it’s about mind control and people being programmed, it’s actually pretty entertaining book. It makes you think a lot about what could be happening to people all around the world.  It’s funny that I want to share with everyone a delusion/paranoia thing that’s going on with me.  I live out in the country in the middle of nowhere.  Traffic is usually  3-4 cars on my road a day.  Recently there has been activity of about 20 or so cars from out of state tags and all types of people.  I thought it was all in my head until I started taking photographs of the cars and the plates.  I know, I know. Sounds crazy right?   Well I think it’s pretty obvious that something is going on somewhere close to my house if not people doing this on purpose.  If they are I don’t see why they would waste so much time and effort on harassing/gang stalking me.  I find it pretty funny.  When they figured out I started taking pictures of the drivers’ next thing I know all the exotic cars that don’t belong driving by my house has tinted windows.  Why would anyone out in the country have tinted windows?   Well I spoke to my pill pushing doctor about this and he decided to put me on lamictal and abilify.  I am very skeptical about these new anti-psychotics and what they can do to your heart.  I had a shot of one of them called geodon while I was in rehab and it almost killed me my heart was racing so fast, it did for the next 2 weeks.  I decided to get a full check up on my heart and they said that it was in great shape?  So I guess that was positive news at the time.  Well I am going to start taking my medication and see if the paranoia starts to go away if not then I may go crazy and pull out the gun and start shooting people that are not going the speed limit on my road and if I don’t know them.  Hell, I might even get in my car and just ram the fuck out of them pull them out of their car and blow their god damn heads off.   HaHa.  JK.  I would never do such a thing like that.  I am sure my medication is going to work.  I mean why would I do something like that nobody has ever done anything to me RIGHT?  Well on a lighter note the weather is starting to get better and I think today is the official first day of spring.  I can’t wait to start fishing again with my father , it’s about the only thing that calms me down and makes me feel normal for what all that has happened to me in the past.  Hopefully next month I can go deep sea fishing depending on how my mood and paranoia is at that time.  I am on disability now and I am glad because it is allowing me to reflect on my past an put the pieces of the puzzle together and understand how I have to pick up life from where it got took over by someone.  Well off to try and work out and walk on the tread mill and take a clonopain and then relax.  Hope all is well with everyone.  Peace to all besides the trolls.  I hope you all rott in hell you know who you are.