Pointless

Nothing I do is good enough.  I have to negotiate to sleep. I am always tired no matter what.
I hate my life.  I hate my life so much.  I hate it.  I hate the guilt.  I hate the feeling of failure, every time I see myself...from any angle.  I hate the fact that I'm so overweight and cannot lose the weight.  I hate the guilt from not calling back or messaging or answering his calls.  I hate the guilt from not doing what my friend wants to do all the time, when I actually do...  I hate when I miss texts and get accused of doing something bad.  I hate the stress.  I hate the stress of having to finish school, though I'm grateful for all the help and everything...
I get so depressed that I think about dying.  I think about how easy that would be.