Poetry

I finally did it. After years of writing poetry on a daily basis I went silent for the longest. Well, today I finally cranked one out. It was rare for me as I thought that part of me died but alas it seems it only remained dormant.I think what inspired me for today was that I was really missing my great grandmother. I always used to write her poems. We would spend afternoons together reading poetry- mainly mine. She enjoyed my poetry so very much.  Today I was just missing. I missed all of those who passed away in my life- and all the relationships that "died". So this journal is dedicated to the poems I wrote about simply feeling that void, finding comfort where you can, and having a reconing in the face of life’s hard ships.  Shockingly enough most of these ARE copyrighted. You take them without permission and I will bite you! :D Oh, and feel free to add in your two cents. I love to hear different sides. I often write my poetry very open so people can take pieces and relate it to them. "Always Be"   2008By Rea(Poem dedicated to Great Grandmother) Stupid little trinkets lie about the wakeInto the after math that is life after your deathI always think of you when my eyes open in the morningAt nights I feel you near holding me tight I remember the hot summer’s days You would sit quietly with one of my hands in yoursWe didn’t have to say much- it just was As the warm breeze blew I didn’t know you would become suchI just thought you would always beAnd as the sunset blazes across the horizonI wonder if you are one of the angels who painted this perfect sky We were born lifetimes apartand I was a mere flash within yoursbut you have engraved such a deep mark on my heartthat I feel you near every second of everyday So I give this to you as I stumble and fall through lifemy tears, my joy, my pain...my heartI will remember the simplicity of your wordsCherish you I will...and carry you with me always. ~*~ "Peppermint Tears of Decay"  2003-Rea(Dedicated to friend Gabe, who took his life at 16. This is the reconing.)I feel so small as I drown in the tears I crySo little that no one sees me…So tiny that you step on me There are timeswhen I am stuck under your shoeThat I can barely hold myself together And right now…I don’t feel like anything at all…I wish I could fade like a sigh…like your last breath…and maybe I wouldn’t make you feel the way you do...and maybe I wouldn’t feel the way I do...Helpless, hurt, destroyed, and alone. I feel so damn alone. Every morning I get up to face the worldand you are not here...I cannot feel you anymoreAs I roam a top the surfaceyou sleep quietly with maggotsyour powerful voice forever silencedand mine forever singing about my -alone-...I hate you....oh, how deeply my soul aches with that horrible feeling of hurtYou don’t know how my shoulders rise and fall…and my chest heaves from my weeping…how I gasp for air and close my eyes as my heart achesYou don’t know because your not here…And if I could...I would make it go awayfor my sanity and for my own peacebut I cannot let go of youthe way you did meYou chose to go...I would never leave........I loved you.... ~*~ "Noise"   2004-Rea(Dedicated to Z, close friend who died of cancer.)  It’s a blue hazewinged like a butterflyA Cyan nightmare with a screamto blow your world apartLike delicate porcelainwe crack from side to sideviolently smashedCerulean fitsAzure strikesCobalt runs through my veinsSapphire echoesIndigo tearsthe blue that falls like the rainShe said she was okbut behind her words were the distance voices of blue-distorted-in the mellow here afterafter the destruction and despairI've put down my swordto listen to the noise~*~ “The Way You See Me” 2003-Rea(dedicated to the start of the demise of the relationship between my dad and I) I can’t help but see you as a little girlwith skinned kneesand chapped lipsbraces and pigtails23 years of my life pastand still when I look backthe demons of the pasthave dissipated into solaceNever have castles burned so brightlyand troubled waters under mending bridges frozenNever has a soft sigh meant.....just thatWhen I look in the mirror I know....I am just his little girland that is all I will be to himwith braces and wild hairand shoes that make me four inches tallerwith an indivisible purpose and invisible presenceStumbling and falling through my adult hooduntil I can get it right….until I can make him proud of me.  ~*~ "After Thought" (2005)-Rea(dedicated to the actual demise of the relationship between my dad and I)I wanted to thank you for this painfor all of itit doesn't hurt anymoreit just numbs meI smile now; give a little nodbecause its so expected to bejust an after thought. I was placed some where in the backboxed up and put awayonly taken out and dusted off on occasionwhen you felt obligated to noticewhen you were compelled to give a second of your time I don't want to be your after thought.I don’t want to be your anything. I just don’t want you to notice anymoreso it doesn’t hurt when you forget.