Please read.
The Reason I Fear the Dark.
Share
Yesterday at 12:10am
As I sit here with eyes burning with anxious fear and excitement I try to keep my mind on my immediate needs. Drifting slowly to unrestfull slumber I start to wonder why when trying to sleep my mind wanders to the hardest parts of my life. I twist and face to the wall feeling that if i were to think of being next to someone i may not feel as lonely as I know I am. I look back to the door and long for someone to walk through it and smile. I watch, and almost expect it to open for a few seconds that seem like hours. I turn again to lay head to foot upon my bed, moving my thoughts to another subject that pains me. With so many impossibly uncomfortable positions to lay in on my bed I find a new way to feel sorry for myself and weep. I wake in the morning as much a man as any other but when you enter my mind, be it through mention or passing thought, I sink into the background and let myself become less noticable. I fear the thought of igniting new flames to warm myslef or light a cigarette.
This was written by my son Tony. What do you think?
I'm having a very hard time right now. missing Jeffy like crazy. The 3 year day is happening next month. I see lots of valium in my futre. The days and weeks before are always worse than the actual day OF, right?
Share
Yesterday at 12:10am
As I sit here with eyes burning with anxious fear and excitement I try to keep my mind on my immediate needs. Drifting slowly to unrestfull slumber I start to wonder why when trying to sleep my mind wanders to the hardest parts of my life. I twist and face to the wall feeling that if i were to think of being next to someone i may not feel as lonely as I know I am. I look back to the door and long for someone to walk through it and smile. I watch, and almost expect it to open for a few seconds that seem like hours. I turn again to lay head to foot upon my bed, moving my thoughts to another subject that pains me. With so many impossibly uncomfortable positions to lay in on my bed I find a new way to feel sorry for myself and weep. I wake in the morning as much a man as any other but when you enter my mind, be it through mention or passing thought, I sink into the background and let myself become less noticable. I fear the thought of igniting new flames to warm myslef or light a cigarette.
This was written by my son Tony. What do you think?
I'm having a very hard time right now. missing Jeffy like crazy. The 3 year day is happening next month. I see lots of valium in my futre. The days and weeks before are always worse than the actual day OF, right?
Replies