Please Not Again
First of all, I'd like to say that I have two brother a sister and three grown children. I went through my dad having Alzheimer's when my children were growing up. It was really hard to struggle with working 12 hour nights, getting my children through school and taking care of daddy all at the same time. He had this disease for seven years and I took care of him until the last two years in which he had to go into a nursing home. I loved him so much and still can't hardly except that he's gone. For years and years I wondered, "what did I do wrong? What sign did I not see? How could I have done something different?"
I beat myself up when he passed away, for the longest time. It nearly killed me. I sank so far into depression. My siblings were no help and my brothers were all to eager to make sure that I took care of him and wouldn't even keep him for me on a weekend every now and then to give me a little break. They let me know real quick that they had a life! My sister then, lived all the way on the other side of the country and couldn't help.
Daddy passed away in 2001 at the age of 63. At that point it was like he was a child about four or five years old, depending on me. He only trusted me and my daughter by then. It took a long time but me and my daughter have had such a hard time dealing with our loss.
The past couple of years now, we've been starting to worry about moma. She's been having problems with her memory and it's steadily getting worse. Well tonight, her doctor took the time to call me, from home at almost 10:00. He wanted to let me know that her memory has become so much worse in the past year that he wants to try to look into what's going on. If it's just age related, Alzheimer's or what. He suggested that it's probably time to take her license. I know she will not handle that well at all. Then he said, it may be time to start considering her living with someone in the family or going into some type of assisted living type environment. When I try to talk to her, I know, she'll probably think she can just stop seeing this doctor. She'll probably refuse to even go back. I don't even know how to say the words to her and it breaks my heart to even think about her going through the same as daddy did and the thought of me going through it again. I honestly don't know if I could handle it again.
I don't know who in the family I can even trust to talk to about it other then my daughter. I have no connection with either of my brothers anymore. My sister lives two states away now. I just don't know what to do or where to even start at this point.
I beat myself up when he passed away, for the longest time. It nearly killed me. I sank so far into depression. My siblings were no help and my brothers were all to eager to make sure that I took care of him and wouldn't even keep him for me on a weekend every now and then to give me a little break. They let me know real quick that they had a life! My sister then, lived all the way on the other side of the country and couldn't help.
Daddy passed away in 2001 at the age of 63. At that point it was like he was a child about four or five years old, depending on me. He only trusted me and my daughter by then. It took a long time but me and my daughter have had such a hard time dealing with our loss.
The past couple of years now, we've been starting to worry about moma. She's been having problems with her memory and it's steadily getting worse. Well tonight, her doctor took the time to call me, from home at almost 10:00. He wanted to let me know that her memory has become so much worse in the past year that he wants to try to look into what's going on. If it's just age related, Alzheimer's or what. He suggested that it's probably time to take her license. I know she will not handle that well at all. Then he said, it may be time to start considering her living with someone in the family or going into some type of assisted living type environment. When I try to talk to her, I know, she'll probably think she can just stop seeing this doctor. She'll probably refuse to even go back. I don't even know how to say the words to her and it breaks my heart to even think about her going through the same as daddy did and the thought of me going through it again. I honestly don't know if I could handle it again.
I don't know who in the family I can even trust to talk to about it other then my daughter. I have no connection with either of my brothers anymore. My sister lives two states away now. I just don't know what to do or where to even start at this point.
Replies
I am so sorry. Your heart is torn into shreds, I know! I would start by talking to them all. Before you talk to your mom, get support, as much as you can. You may face this alone like you did with your dad (thank God for your daughter), but still you must reach out to your sibings. Please let me know what the Doctor finds.
Wmsdas, my heart goes out to you dear sister! I am on the same path just a little ways behind you....my mother seems to be in the beginnings of dementia or at the worst Alzheimer\'s too! It is why my DH and I came back home and moved in with both her and my dad. I have been seeing signs of this for a couple of years now when I came home on visits.
I can\'t imagine having to do this twice! And I see a day not far in the future where I will be at the very spot in the road you are now....
I know there are no words to make this better for either of us, but I do know that it comforts me to know I have everyone here as I begin this journey and I thank you for sharing this journal entry with me especially so that I now know that you are here on the path with me just ahead around the bend....May God give you His grace and strength for the days ahead!!