Please help/What do you say?
What do you say to your friend who lost her son less than a year ago and whose daughter is maybe going to follow soon. Too soon. Brain tumor. What do you say in the middle of the night to a mom who wants to chat who is looking for me to tell her that God doesn't take two children from a mom. That never happens, right?
What do you say to a husband who doesn't understand the call me ANYTIME DAY OT NIGHT thing. Evidently that offer isn't for folks who are again entertaining old loves. Yes, Victor is back. Damn, When I say call me anytime, night or day, I mean it. If your child is laid up in a hospital and you need to call me or text me so that I can tell you lies about what God will or will not do.....freaking call me and if I have to duct tape the old man to the ceiling to shut him up that is just what I will have to do.
What do you say to a husband who doesn't understand the call me ANYTIME DAY OT NIGHT thing. Evidently that offer isn't for folks who are again entertaining old loves. Yes, Victor is back. Damn, When I say call me anytime, night or day, I mean it. If your child is laid up in a hospital and you need to call me or text me so that I can tell you lies about what God will or will not do.....freaking call me and if I have to duct tape the old man to the ceiling to shut him up that is just what I will have to do.
Replies
Ok, trying to process everything you\'re telling us here.....
\"Victor\" is back?? DAMN! DOUBLE DAMN! Doctor appt. immediately! This has got to stop!! Demand to see every freaking doctor and specialists available until someone figures out what is causing the migraines and how to stop them and keep them from returning. It\'s time to be a bitch about this and MAKE someone do something!
Now, you have a friend who lost a son whose daughter now has a brain tumor? Oh god, Colleen....how awful. How terribly, horribly, incredibly awful.... I\'m so sorry. My heart is aching thinking about this, truly aching. What do you say? I think I would try to keep my comments short and just do more listening than talking. I don\'t think she\'s truly looking for you to give her the answers to any of her \"why\'s\". I think....I\'m guessing....she just needs someone to listen to her pleas and cries and anger....just someone who can handle the venting and the emotions. But no, I wouldn\'t lie.....she already knows the truth anyway. Yes, we know tragedy can and often does strict twice. We (FMO) first learned that with Jill (sorrow).....I\'ll never forget those first days after JT left earth so shortly after Sean. And then we met BarbaraK23....and then others.... Yes, the unthinkable can happen twice.
Since it\'s a brain tumor, I would suggest getting some info from Sarah (heartsandhands). I believe there is an excellent group for moms that she is affiliated with that you could perhaps suggest to your friend.
One more thing I\'ll say....know YOUR limits sweetie. It\'s great that your heart is so big and your compassion so real and your willingness to help so great....BUT, you MUST take care of you or you will not be able to care for anyone else!! The \"call me anytime day or night\" offer is a great offer and I\'ve made it myself to a few friends....BUT, if that endangers your health and well being, you must set limits.
I love you Colleen and I continue to send positive energy from my spirit to yours. I don\'t really know what else to do...that\'s just the truth. I don\'t believe in praying for God to heal....I just can\'t believe in that any longer. I just can\'t believe the decision to heal someone comes from how many people pray for that healing, or how long they pray, or how well they pray. I just can\'t believe in a God that has the power to heal and yet waits to see if any prayers are said asking for healing before \"he\" decides OK, I\'ll heal that one....and what if no prayers are said, or the right prayers aren\'t said, or the right person doesn\'t pray, or this or that, that same God decides \"no, not this time, I\'ll let this one die\".....it just can\'t be....at least in my heart and mind and spirit, it just can\'t be that way.....
BUT I do pray that the answer will be found and you will be cured/healed. I DO pray that all the energy forces of God, the universe, the doctors, the specialists, and all of us who love you so much, somehow, somehow, combine into a force so mighty that the healing does come.
Today I pray for you. Today I pray for your friend. Today I pray for your friends daughter. And today I pray for all the sources of ENERGY and TRUTH and LIGHT to bring a peaceful resilience of knowing that no matter what, it will be survived.
I love you Colleen!
Your presence with your friend is enough dear Colleen, Just BE with her in whatever way she needs. You will know.
Enough with this Victor and the pain that you are going through with this just makes me crazy!!!
Love you dearest rainbow balloon woman and just who you are and what you bring to anything and anyone in terms of your being is what they need.
Thinking of this precious mother with a broken heart and of you right in this moment.
Love YOU!
XO Joanie
I don,t think there is really anything you can say, but just being there is worth millions of words.
Just don\'t let your desire to help make your health worse... Get back to the doctor and Kick Victor to the curb!!!
Hugs. Marylou
Stupid Victor!!! Enough is enough already!
What do you say. I feel so sad for your friend. I can only imagine the heartache and fear she is facing. You are a good friend. I agree with \'any time, day or night\'.
You have such a wonderful sense of humor, even with Victor. I had to chuckle, imagining your husband duct taped to the ceiling!
I am praying for you and for your friend and her daughter.
Love and big hugs,
Marlene
I too feel so awful from you friend. It breaks my heart just think of this poor women\'s plight. The only thing you can say to your friend is \'I\'m so sorry\' because that\'s what you really feel and just listen because that\'s what she needs more than anything else.
As for the husband...the duct tape sounds like a good idea...I need to try it.
So sorry Victor is back, that dumb headache just won\'t die. Sending love, Terry
My heart breaks,,,Victor,,,back darn!!! your friend,,I am so sorry,,,,,I wish I had words for you,,,but just being a friend and i;m sorry,,,,,,
get rid of that darn victor!!
I am so sorry that the damn Victor has risen from his comatose state. Damn him. Sorry for your friend. I love you, my Colleen. Belinda
Tell Victor he is no longer welcome...to bid adios to that darn unwelcomed guest...thought they had a handle on this critter.
Your friend is so lucky to have you...but please heed Teri\'s advice and remember what the airline stewardesses say...\"put on your air mask before assisting others...\"
Love & hugs,
Ann
Colleen, I am so sorry the headaches are back. I agree with Teri. Demand a specialist who knows what they are doing. Ken is going through the same thing with headaches. We are looking into Botox injections since we know the cause but there isn\'t much relief.
I am just heartbroken for your friend. Life is so cruel. As others have said, just be with her, be by her side. How can we give answers when we have none even for ourselves? I personally think much of life is random and that God isn\'t the cause of our tragedies. And I believe science wins..natural law prevails. If someone is sick they may not survive. Its awful but this is how I reconcile things in my mind. Love and gentle hugs, Linda