PLEASE HELP!!! *Despair!!*
Please, I'm in tears! I feel like ripping my hair out, cutting, smashing my fist through a window, ANYTHING but living the way I am at the moment!!! Does anyone relate to this? If you do please help me!!! I keep having days where I'm restricting like crazy, can't eat ANYTHING apart from salad or veg I've been losing weight too...but then I have a crazy night or two of bingeing. It's getting worse and I'm scared. I binge to the point of feeling sick but I think it's mainly because it's all sweet stuff rather than the amount. I can't purge, I never have been able to so it ALL stays inside. I take laxatives afterwards because I freak out but I know this doesn't get rid of it. It's just helps me a little psychologically. Then I spend the next few days restricting and exercising again and each time my weight goes down a bit extra.... but then I crave another binge. It's doing my head (and my stomach) in! I hate it so much!!! Thing is when I'm restricing I'm ok. I don't crave, but my Mum, obviously she tries to get me to eat more than veg or salad, and it's when I do this... (break my veg or salad restriction) than I think, "sod it, I've already broken it so I'll binge". If I don't eat ANYHING I'm ok. I'm trying to get help but I know the only way I'm going to get the help I need is to go inpatient, but I'm never going to get to inpatients if I keep bingeing because my weight wont go low enough. HELP ME PLEASE!!! I'm sorry this is so long! I'm so upset right now!!!
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