PLEASE HELP
My pretty little girl, 18 months old now... is still biting. she started around 11 months old and hasnt stopped, and she knows she isnt suposed to. i have tried EVERYTHING. from time outs, to spending more time with her, to socializing her, to working on other avenues to vent when she is angry, tried to get her to kiss instead of bite, explain to her it hurts and is unacceptable, i make her say sorry to whoever she bit, and she does, she also plays the kiss not bite game with me, but she just randomly BITES people, particularly other kids. older, or younger. and she bites hard, draws blood, i dont know what to do. a friend of my roomates came over with a girl her age, we let them play, they were doing fine, then just out of the blue, she walks up to her, sticks her finger in her mouth, and bites, HARD. i had to pry her off the other kids finger. the finger swelled up. then i find out they were asking if she had shots cause they wanted to take her to the hospital to get her checked out cause the bite was so bad. today i had a friend over for dinner with her younger baby and 5 year old son.
she bit both of them. she was playing in her room wth the boys and bit them. i made her say sorry. she did and they played for a while longer without problems. she did bite him again later. we had dinner, she was good, ate her dinner, even got to sit on the big people chair and be a big girl. the kids were all in the living room. the baby, was crawling on the ground playing with a toy. we all had our heads turned and hear a scream.... the baby was crying and my daughter was standing next to her looking guilty. there was a HUGE bite mark on the side of the baby's face. swelled up, baby kept crying. i immediately sent her to bed. no ba ba. no bedtime songs and stories, NOTHING. just in bed, lights out, end of story.
I FEEL HORRIBLE. really? what can i do to make her stop. ive tried everything anyone has ever told me. YES i have bitten her back, Yes i have even smacked/flicked her pretty hard in the mouth, yes i have tried other avenues, yes i try to spend time with her, we spend 3 uninturrupted days together a week. i try to take her to parks, play with her. those are her days. she is with me and austin only pretty much now, we changed our schedules so she is not with babysitters.
why is she doing this. im going to see a child phsycologist or something. im really upset about all this.
she bit both of them. she was playing in her room wth the boys and bit them. i made her say sorry. she did and they played for a while longer without problems. she did bite him again later. we had dinner, she was good, ate her dinner, even got to sit on the big people chair and be a big girl. the kids were all in the living room. the baby, was crawling on the ground playing with a toy. we all had our heads turned and hear a scream.... the baby was crying and my daughter was standing next to her looking guilty. there was a HUGE bite mark on the side of the baby's face. swelled up, baby kept crying. i immediately sent her to bed. no ba ba. no bedtime songs and stories, NOTHING. just in bed, lights out, end of story.
I FEEL HORRIBLE. really? what can i do to make her stop. ive tried everything anyone has ever told me. YES i have bitten her back, Yes i have even smacked/flicked her pretty hard in the mouth, yes i have tried other avenues, yes i try to spend time with her, we spend 3 uninturrupted days together a week. i try to take her to parks, play with her. those are her days. she is with me and austin only pretty much now, we changed our schedules so she is not with babysitters.
why is she doing this. im going to see a child phsycologist or something. im really upset about all this.
Replies
Maybe this is a sign that she needs something to chew on and this is her only way of telling you. At 11 months, her molars started growing beneath her gums. Even after the molars cut through, it takes a very long time for them to be completely out. You may notice they go up and down several times before they settle into place. (As a reference, my daughter\'s molars came in around 14 months. They were completely through by 22 months) Once the molars are done moving- its smooth sailing! You\'ll see a lot less biting and finger nibbling.
Every time she starts biting, grab something that you will allow in her mouth and hand it to her. This sorta thing needs a lot of consistency- work with her every single time she does it and try to get in there asap!
I\'m right here with ya on this! My daughter used to latch onto my neck and shoulders while I carried her. My trick was to put bonjela (australian version of oragel- its licorice flavored and sweet tasting) on the tip of her teething wand once I noticed that she was chomping on her hands. Finding durable teething wands, is another story- lol. If oragel doesn\'t work, try offering her one dose of motrin (I find it works better than tylenol for soothing pain) when she is acting up.
Is there any pattern to her biting? Perhaps a certain time of day or maybe when she is anxious? Maybe let her have a messy hand painting session or color with crayons. Art is a great outlet for kids. If its anxiety related, maybe try giving her super good quality time- cuddle while watching a movie together or divert her attention with a fun board game. Laughter is also good medicine. If nothing else works, tickle her every time she bites. It\'ll work as a distraction and hopefully steer her away from the bad habit.
If other kids are around, make sure she has something to chew on. That might help prevent it from happening again in the future! Best of luck!
Let me know if those ideas don\'t work. :o)
i tried the teething thing. she dont want anything other than people. she goes out of her way to bite people, especially other kids. she wont cuddle with me much. she does with dad, but she wont just sit with mom and watcha movie. im really worried. i talked to her doctor, and he is going to talk to her behavioral specialist in the hospital and let me know, but really i dont know what to do. people dont understand the severity of what is going on. i have parents calling me asking if my daughter has had shots. friends wont come over anymore. i let her color with crayons, i even let her run and scream around the house as we play monster hide and seek. ive given her motrin.
i thought there was a pattern to it for a while, like when she was tired, but its not. she does it anytime, completely random and she knows the difference.
she was holding her cousins hand today, he is 8 weeks old, and saying mama, nice nice nice. showing me that she was being nice. and sometimes she will stop and give kisses and be nice. she bit a kid in chuckie cheese, and when i told her to say sorry, and explained again that biting is not nice, she said NO! and bit herself, and then pointed at the kid, and started reaching for him screaming and trying to get out of my arms. my feelings are hurt. im out of ideas. i cant take her anywhere to have fun. im afraid to take her to the park, restaurant, ANYWHERE. we were getting her id, this older girl came in, and she just walked up to her, said hi, gave her a hug, then a kiss. then walked back to her and bit her. i dont know what else to do.
At 18 months she is still a baby. At 18 months she knows what no means. I\'ve never heard of a baby biting problem this severe. I would certainly recommend that she not play with other kids unsupervised. I mean, someone has to be right there with her. Could it be jealousy? It\'s hard to know what\'s going through their minds at that age. I guess that the big question, why? She\'ll out grow it, I\'m sure of that. But until then what can be done? Geeez, maybe the doctor will have some answers for you. I think all babies bite at one time or another. I never liked the biting back thing, I guess it lets them know it hurts. I would say hunker down with her and who ever else she is playing with and try to see what triggers the biting. It gets her lot of attention, that\'s for sure. But it\'s awful that she\'s actually breaking the skin, human bites are vicious. Does she bite you or Daddy? Maybe she feels threatened by others getting your attention? One bite and she has your\'s. Oh, I know how hard it is raising little ones, if it\'s not one thing, it\'s something else. Then they grow up, and it\'s still one thing or something else! Worrying won\'t help, asking her doctor about it was a good idea, and at this point most ideas are good ones. They go through so many fazes growing up, the good, the bad & the crazy! Hang in there, mommy. Love will find a way :) Give her a kiss & hug from this Grandma xo
thanks. im trying to just hang in there. and yes, she does bite me too, she rarely bites dad, unless im around once in a while she will start too, but she wont really, same with me, only when she is real angry does she really bite me, she usually thinks twice cause ive had to flick her in the mouth really hard cause she bit me on my face when i went to kiss her. and believe me when i say her biting is completely random. its a little more intense when she is tired, but it really is constant. she bit twice today too... ugh. its hard when your friends say they cant come over with the kids becasue they dont want their daughter to have reconstructive surgery to her face.