plain hell

well havent written in my journal for such long time but after todays bad news just need to write down my feelings or going to go crazy so after alog and hard fight am having my good leg amputed next tuesday go in hos on friday  but boy my feelings are all over the place right now angry one min sad and crying next not sure how to feel had the big toe amputed 8weeks ago due to bone infection but has justgot worse now has spread to ankle  so have nochoice but to loss the leg before ot get worse pretty scared cause not sure if me or family wiil cope a;; i know i fought right up to this stage and will keep on fighting