PISSED and want to run

We wnt back together after five weeks of being apart. I needed to try and see if there was a chance,If I did not try I would never know. I knew that you "made it easy on me by ending t" 2 days after I left. I had to hold back the thought that you moved on. you just neede to be alone becacause you did not want 'any of that relationship just fun" but being faithful to each other which makes sense since you asked me to move in a year ago. I came back things going good you understanding my needs that I explained and a week ago I find by some freak accident  a different section of emails that I did not know was yours. all by trying to send you an email showing pictures of harmony plants to start our plans of the bedroom. Oriental soothing plan. Then all the sudden I am at a different email spotsending the pics. What do I see in what I thought was my email was you signing up to 2 dating sites 2 days after I went to help my friend.That would explain the " I will make it easy on you and end it 2 days after I went to help her. I know you did not act upon anything but when I asked if you had signed up you lied. lied out your ass. junk mail? really? you dont get matches unless you signed up. held it in saying that was the past. But the knowing you lied bugged me. so I decided to not let it eat me up and give you a chance to say hey I was looking. you said what? I DONT WANT ANY OF THIS RELATIONSHIP. Did not want to be questioned again after you told me no that it was a misunderstanding that I need to let it go.I said I could not I needed to know if he lied, then of course you have to pull the " if you cant do that then maybe I should leave. F... THAT. tHEN YOU ADMIT YOU LOOKED BUT did not act. Thats all I wanted was to know that you could admit you lied . so I did not think I was going crazy. I did not need the if you dont like it leave that I used to hear whenever you needed to communicTE. i AM NOW TOTALLY CONFUSED , mad and hurt. I am not going to make any quick decisions but right now I want to leave. Oh yeah you apologized which was awesome but everything was gone the moment you said if I did not like that you just want to have fun witheach other with faithfulness as long as there is no relationship arguing stuff. Why would I want to or why should I be with someone that thats the answer to an argument. The way to end it.