pissed

pardon my language but im fuckin pissed off i as well as others has lost a fucking good friend and im pissed i know i shouldnt be and should respect there wishes but shit we are a family and now theres a huge fucking hole right in the middle of my heart because im missing my friend its not fair ,i shouldnt be so selfish and just let it go but i cant i dont have that many friends and the ones i do have i cherish .Yes im angry and yes im upset this person was my buddy they were my someone i could turn to for a smile and it only took a word to calm me down, i know i never told them this but they did .Im sorry for venting but this is how i feel ive been sitting here for about 6 hours just thinking ive said my piece