Picking WHO I am meant to be...
lol... looked at "The Complete Idiot's Guide to... Discovering Your Perfect Career"... thought a good idea might be to work out what my "temperament" is and see if that would lead to a better match between what I NEED and what I CHOOSE... ahhhh! PTSD you have a strange sense of mischief... don't you
For each of the four personality categories... I was split pretty much down the middle... typical! I'm picking that isn't because I'M naturally split... no, NO! I'm picking it is because the strategies and coping mechanisms I used to survive my trauma have driven me to react/think/behave... as best as I could to just survive... Arggghhh!
For each of the four personality categories... I was split pretty much down the middle... typical! I'm picking that isn't because I'M naturally split... no, NO! I'm picking it is because the strategies and coping mechanisms I used to survive my trauma have driven me to react/think/behave... as best as I could to just survive... Arggghhh!
Replies
For example, Extroversion versus Introversion...
? Do I \"prefer\" to have lots of friends... or just a few...
? Do I chat to random people... or keep to myself...
? Does interacting with strangers energize me... or make me tired...
? When a new person invites me to do something do I accept readily... or wait until I get to know them better...
? Am I outgoing... or private...
? Am I talkative... or quiet and watchful...
? Does the thought of making new friends make me excited... or nervous...
? Am I better at talking to my friends... or listening to them...
Okay, well, at different times, I can be at either end of the Extroverted / Introverted spectrum... Most times I turn Extroversion ON when the situation requires that \"out\" there approach... Frankly I blame years of performing on stage singing and dancing for turning a naturally quiet person into a nervous, exuberant person, lol. But yeah, because I DO get nervous around people... I mask it with exuberance... so no-one would pick I\'m actually very INTROVERTED... they would just laugh that off and say, \"No! You are one of the most EXTROVERTED, confident, out-going people I know...\" arghhhhh!
How about Sensation versus Intuition...
? Is my style a well thought out plan... or trial and error
? Do I think it is worse to be a daydreamer... or always be repeating things
? Am I sensible... or inventive
? Am I practical... or imaginative
? Am I better at imitating others... or imagining wild possibilities
? Am I better at doing a good job... or coming up with unusual ideas
? Is my motto united we stand... or express yourself
? Do I prefer describing an experience... or solving a problem in my head
? Do I prefer action and adventure... or fantasy and heroism
Now I know this one for sure is a response to trauma... because for every SINGLE item... I try and ACT on the basis of the first option... while my heart pleads for the SECOND option... Believe me... when your heart and your head do not agree... you are in for trouble... arghhhhh!
Then there\'s Thinking versus Feeling...
? What appeals more, consistent thinking... or peaceful relationships
? Do my feelings get hurt less... or more often by others
? Is it better to be fair... or show pity
? Am I more often logical and even-tempered... or kind and friendly to all
? Am I more likely to forgive someone who has a logical explanation... or expresses sorrow and remorse
? If a troublemaker is harshly punished do I feel they deserved it... or a little bit sorry for them
? Do I relate to others in an objective... or a personal manner
? Is it easier for me to analyze others... or identify with them
? Do I see myself as logical... or sensitive
Yup... head versus heart... and if there is one thing PTSD is good for it is putting you on guard against letting yourself get traumatised again... Which of course doesn\'t WORK... guarding against and actually preventing are two entirely different things... arghhhh!
Finally, we get to Judgement versus Perception
? If someone is late, do I get annoyed... or shrug it off
? Do I plan ahead... or just jump into things
? Am I more satisfied having finished a project... or having several ongoing ones
? Do I prefer scheduled, planned activities... or open, unplanned ones
? Do I prefer endings... or beginnings
? Do I use calculation... or estimation
? Am I more inclined to be driven... or relaxed
? Do I prefer to make sure things are arranged... or happen naturally
? Is my house neat... or messy
I tend to think surviving trauma IS about getting to the end, having lost optimism, lost that care-free, take-life-as-it-is outlook... The endless debates with/in yourself about trust, control... arghhhh!
Interesting research article ~ \"Complex Trauma in Children and Adolescents\" Domains of Impairment in Children Exposed to Complex Trauma ~ excerpts retrieved from
http://www.nctsnet.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/edu_materials/ComplexTrauma_All.pdf
I. Attachment Impairment
Uncertainty about the reliability and predictability of the world, problems with boundaries, distrust and suspiciousness, social isolation, interpersonal difficulties, difficulty attuning to other peoples emotional states, difficulty with perspective taking, difficulty enlisting other people as allies...
II. Biology Impairment
Hypersensitivity to physical contact, analgesia...
III. Affect Regulation Impairment
Difficulty with emotional self-regulation, difficulty describing feelings and internal experience, problems knowing and describing internal states, difficulty communicating wishes and desires...
IV. Dissociation
Amnesia, depersonalization and derealization...
V. Behavioral Control Impairment
Poor modulation of impulses, self-destructive behavior, pathological self-soothing behaviors, sleep disturbances, excessive compliance, oppositional behavior, difficulty understanding and complying with rules, communication of traumatic past by reenactment in day-to-day behavior or play...
VI. Cognition Impairment
Difficulties in attention regulation and executive functioning, lack of sustained curiosity, problems focusing on and completing tasks, problems with object constancy, difficulty planning and anticipating, problems understanding own contribution to what happens...
VII. Self-Concept Impairment
Lack of a continuous, predictable sense of self, poor sense of separateness, low self-esteem...
Might have to stick that post above in a goal and TRY and knock each one off... little by little...