Phantom pregnancy

I had a phantom pregnancy when I was 16, I had morning sickness, cravings, even a bump! My world came crashing down around me when the nurse told me and I didn't tell ANYONE about it until I was 18 and put in an institution.. Since finding out about all the problems with my ovaries, having my laparosopy and trying for a baby for years, disappointment always hits when I get my period. However, three months ago I was late by 6 days and got a pregnancy test. I know I shouldn't have got my hopes up but I waited a further week before I did it just to make sure my period wasn't coming and, when it didn't come, I did the test.. I wish I hadn't of done it because the pain I felt in my heart from the disappointment reminded me of my phantom pregnancy and made me and my partner very upset.. I know it may sound silly and I don't wanna offend anyone but it feels like I lost a baby (during the phantom pregnancy).. I feel like I need to grieve.... :'( ....I told my mum and my partner that I couldn't handle seeing another negative pregnancy test.. They understand and help me so much but don't understand that saying: "it'll happen when it happens" isn't helping.. I feel like my body is broken and denying us our baby that we desperately want and in a way, I need..