Personal acheivements and set backs

Self improvement, I think everyone has an interest in this in one way or another. The hardest part of self improvement is to actualy face the things within us that we dislike, that we know are no good. But once we feel those feelings of shame anger sadness ect we can learn steps to change these things. We just have to move past facing the things within us. This is the hardest part of self improvement at least for me. But once we start facing these things, and make improvements the feelings of joy, pride, and happiness are well worth it.
For me one of the biggest things within me that I HATE to face and admit, is that I am terrible at family. I dont call, I dont text, I dont keep in touch. I swore to myself that after my fathers suicide I would change I would be better. But change based on mortality is about as permanent as a new years resolution... its not....
This thanksgiving I noticed no one in my family had called me, probably used to the fact that I wasnt going to call them... So I made a step towards improvement, I called my mom and my brothers... I then called my step mom and set up a few days to travel to MI to visit my baby siblings, who I am ashamed to admit birthdays I did not even know...So I visited and found their birthdays out and wrote it in my callender, I spent all day with me, and look forward to making it a point to calling them and skyping them.
 
I never called them because of shame for having not called them... a viscious cycle... but I will break this cycle, the shame is already slowly fadding and being replaced with what will become a wonderful relationship with my siblings...
It is hard to face the negative that is within us... But if we can find a way to not drown in the shame and denial of it all, than we can push forward and grow as a person.. I am excited for the kinetic energy within my self.