Permanence

I did't come on here much for a while. Some say it is bad for me, but right now I'm alone with a bowl of noodles for company. 
 
I have recently been to the funeral of a friend. A girl I've known since I was small. A very sweet and loving girl who would never hurt a soul, but had a fire in her that let you know she could if she thought they deserved it. Inspirational, is one of the many words you could use to describe her. 
 
Today I found some words she wrote 2 whole years ago. These words have pierced my heart and I ache to talk to her, to soothe her, to have been there at the time to help. I can not believe I did not help her with this in life. It's killing me, but I can't stop reading. I can't bear the thought that she had to endure this alone... I want to call her, say that I found it, I read it and I'm here for her.
 
I want to know that bastards name.I want to know who he is.I want to find him. My poor sweet friend. How could anyone do that to you?And how can you not be with us now, how can I not be at your side now to help you though it? Its just so cruel. I need her... I need to tell her that I love her and that it will all be okay.I hate myself for not knowing about this when it went on, or even after.I can't believe she's dead. I can't stop crying.I love you sweetie. I hope where you are has released you from all your suffering. I love you so so much. Stay safe up there... I hope this reaches you. xxxxxxxxxNo words will ever be enough.