Perils of social media

in attempting to let go I've cut contact, deleted emails, archived media, put all her belongings and reminders in the so called 'devils suitcase'. I have not allowed my self to dwell, I have practiced mindfulness and when memories and 'what if' moments float in I have reminded my self to stay present. I have not shied away from my grief, I have cried, journaled, practiced forgiveness of self and others in moments of anger. I am in counselling seeking support and methodologies to better understand my self, to take responsibility for my part in this breakup. I have not isolated myself, I sought out the company of friends and the love of my family.

one photograph on facebook, one photograph of her face looking happy, beautiful and free and my walls have tumbled. Why if I only wish her happiness am I feeling like I am poisoned, feeling so childlike in self pity, letting my inner parent scold me for losing her, scold me for feeling unhappy, scold me for being upset.

I fear I have many mountains yet to climb. I fear I am doing this alone