Perfect Moments
I know all moments are fleeting. Some pass so quickly we forget to be thankful for them. I wanted to make sure I put this one down for posterity.
The back story is long and boring, but the gist is that DDay is coming soon, I struggle with seasonal depression, the holidays are always hard, anyway, and, well, I've just been in a general funk, anyway. Top that off with a major trigger: husband's schedule has been tweaked and jerked with SO much lately.
First, it was his days off getting swapped around and then getting changed around AGAIN. We actually had a very-grown-up-discussion (for us?) where I explained to him how much of a trigger it was and how I knew he had no control over it, but I needed him to be sensitive/mindful of how it would effect me. Three years ago, he would have been a chicken and just not told me until last minute and then been defensive/angry because he knew it would be upsetting. This year, he's told me within moments of finding out about the changes and he's asked, "What can/should I do?"
Well, Thursday was particularly rough. Normally he has Fridays and Saturdays off, so normally, we'd have been looking forward to time together. But no, as mentioned, his schedule was tweaked, so no such luck. Worse, at around 4pm, he told me he would not be getting off at 6, but rather at 10. I instantly started a downward spiral. This is exactly the crap that would happen during the affair. He'd show up 2, 3, 5 hours late... "I had to work..."
Already fragile, I handled things poorly. Instantly, I started to spiral down into a dark place. I decided to just go to bed and "sleep it off" for a few hours and see if that would help, so I was actually sleeping at 6:30 when he came home - in uniform - to check on me. He was still working, so he couldn't stay, but he knew that I wouldn't be well and he knew the reassurance would go a long way. He coaxed me out of bed and we ate a quick dinner together before he bolted back off to work.
It helped. It was thoughtful. It reminded me of why we're doing this whole "recovery" thing instead of me just giving up.
But here's the perfect moment...
I sent him a text to thank him. He was genuinely confused and asked what for. I told him simply, "For putting up with my broken bits." He replied (naughtily... shame on him... heh) "I like all your bits." I giggled, but really, it was nice to hear.
When he came home, he changed out of his uniform and then put on music and asked me to dance with him. He never does that. I can't tell you how much it warms me, though. The song he put on?
Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are". While we were dancing, he leaned in close and whispered hotly, "All your bits."
Heh... so silly. So sexy. So wonderful.
So. Perfect.
The back story is long and boring, but the gist is that DDay is coming soon, I struggle with seasonal depression, the holidays are always hard, anyway, and, well, I've just been in a general funk, anyway. Top that off with a major trigger: husband's schedule has been tweaked and jerked with SO much lately.
First, it was his days off getting swapped around and then getting changed around AGAIN. We actually had a very-grown-up-discussion (for us?) where I explained to him how much of a trigger it was and how I knew he had no control over it, but I needed him to be sensitive/mindful of how it would effect me. Three years ago, he would have been a chicken and just not told me until last minute and then been defensive/angry because he knew it would be upsetting. This year, he's told me within moments of finding out about the changes and he's asked, "What can/should I do?"
Well, Thursday was particularly rough. Normally he has Fridays and Saturdays off, so normally, we'd have been looking forward to time together. But no, as mentioned, his schedule was tweaked, so no such luck. Worse, at around 4pm, he told me he would not be getting off at 6, but rather at 10. I instantly started a downward spiral. This is exactly the crap that would happen during the affair. He'd show up 2, 3, 5 hours late... "I had to work..."
Already fragile, I handled things poorly. Instantly, I started to spiral down into a dark place. I decided to just go to bed and "sleep it off" for a few hours and see if that would help, so I was actually sleeping at 6:30 when he came home - in uniform - to check on me. He was still working, so he couldn't stay, but he knew that I wouldn't be well and he knew the reassurance would go a long way. He coaxed me out of bed and we ate a quick dinner together before he bolted back off to work.
It helped. It was thoughtful. It reminded me of why we're doing this whole "recovery" thing instead of me just giving up.
But here's the perfect moment...
I sent him a text to thank him. He was genuinely confused and asked what for. I told him simply, "For putting up with my broken bits." He replied (naughtily... shame on him... heh) "I like all your bits." I giggled, but really, it was nice to hear.
When he came home, he changed out of his uniform and then put on music and asked me to dance with him. He never does that. I can't tell you how much it warms me, though. The song he put on?
Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are". While we were dancing, he leaned in close and whispered hotly, "All your bits."
Heh... so silly. So sexy. So wonderful.
So. Perfect.
Replies
Thats awesome! I look forward to the day I can share a moment like that with my wife.
I hope you get a million moments like that one, chaointexas. It\'s been a hard two years for us with as many downs as ups, but I\'m glad we\'ve stuck it out and done the work.