Perceptions
I'm in need of a major rant so, I figured there's no better place to do so, right?
Okay, so, I self harm and recently one of my friends found out about it. I didn't tell her, but she found out another way. When she confronted me about it, one of the things she said to me was that I have to stop.
I know that she meant well and that she's just looking out for me but, what people need to start understanding is that people who self harm can't stop. Don't you think that if we could we would?Telling someone who cuts, scratches or harms themselves in any way to stop is like telling a heroin addict to stop shooting up.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not likening the effects of drug use to the effects of self harm. They are both completely different things, with completely different lasting effects. What I am saying though is that, both are addictive and, both are coping mechanisms.
Self harm for many people is about control and about externalising internal pain and suffering. That's what it is for me anyway. It's the only thing in my life that I have control over. I decide when I cut. I decide how many cuts I make. I decide how deep I cut.
So, telling me to just stop isn't going to work. To just assume that I can and that I want to stop is pretty ignorant and honestly, pretty annoying. Especially coming from a person who has no experience whatsoever with self harm or depression.
There are also people who believe that people only self harm for attention. Yes, it's true that, there are a few people who hurt themselves to gain attention from their friends because they think it's 'cool'. But, make no mistake. These people are attention seekers, NOT individuals with self harm issues.
The majority of people who self harm however, do not want to gain attention from others for it. I know that, I for one, don't. If I did, I wouldn't walk around on a sweltering hot day in a long-sleeved top. I also wouldn't cut in places I know people will never see.
Never assume to know what's going on inside a person's head that leads them to self harm, never expect them to stop just because you want them to and, never assume that they're just looking for attention.
Self harm is a deeply personal, hard-fought struggle. Don't presume to understand it because you don't. Unless you've been through it, you know nothing about what goes through my mind when I'm alone or when I'm holding that blade. Unless you've been through depression you are incapable of comprehending how dark the hole I'm in is. You are incapable of understanding how deep the self loathing runs.
Okay, so, I self harm and recently one of my friends found out about it. I didn't tell her, but she found out another way. When she confronted me about it, one of the things she said to me was that I have to stop.
I know that she meant well and that she's just looking out for me but, what people need to start understanding is that people who self harm can't stop. Don't you think that if we could we would?Telling someone who cuts, scratches or harms themselves in any way to stop is like telling a heroin addict to stop shooting up.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not likening the effects of drug use to the effects of self harm. They are both completely different things, with completely different lasting effects. What I am saying though is that, both are addictive and, both are coping mechanisms.
Self harm for many people is about control and about externalising internal pain and suffering. That's what it is for me anyway. It's the only thing in my life that I have control over. I decide when I cut. I decide how many cuts I make. I decide how deep I cut.
So, telling me to just stop isn't going to work. To just assume that I can and that I want to stop is pretty ignorant and honestly, pretty annoying. Especially coming from a person who has no experience whatsoever with self harm or depression.
There are also people who believe that people only self harm for attention. Yes, it's true that, there are a few people who hurt themselves to gain attention from their friends because they think it's 'cool'. But, make no mistake. These people are attention seekers, NOT individuals with self harm issues.
The majority of people who self harm however, do not want to gain attention from others for it. I know that, I for one, don't. If I did, I wouldn't walk around on a sweltering hot day in a long-sleeved top. I also wouldn't cut in places I know people will never see.
Never assume to know what's going on inside a person's head that leads them to self harm, never expect them to stop just because you want them to and, never assume that they're just looking for attention.
Self harm is a deeply personal, hard-fought struggle. Don't presume to understand it because you don't. Unless you've been through it, you know nothing about what goes through my mind when I'm alone or when I'm holding that blade. Unless you've been through depression you are incapable of comprehending how dark the hole I'm in is. You are incapable of understanding how deep the self loathing runs.
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