People Pleasing with Lying

Ok, this post is going to be a little bit longer than my usual no lies today post, but I have to get this off my chest and onto the internet. 

I am a people pleaser. The reason (the main one) that I lie, is because that I want people to be pleased with me and like me. I honestly wanted to say no to certain favors and things, but I was afraid that if I said no, they would not want to be my friend, like me, etc. 

Today was a day that I was supposed to make time for my wife today. She wasn't feeling good, so I went to church on my own for the second service. My mother and brother were there so I sat with them. After the service had ended, she and he were going for lunch and asked me if I was going. I told her I didn't get a ticket and that I didn't know she made these plans.

My mother usually makes short notice changes to plans we made a day in advance and I feel those will go through, but then BAM! Change of plans. It irritates me that this happens, but I struggle with telling her that I will go back home or run errands because she will feel hurt or cry if I tell her I can't visit her. She has 2 OTHER sons MINUTES away from her and she GUILTS me into not spending enough time with her.

So I made the mistake of giving in to her telling her I would wait for her at the house. I made that choice and it was not one I wanted to do. But I did it so she could be happy. An hour passed and she still wasn't back at her place and I spent ANOTHER hour and a bit after her lunch with my brother. How can I be so weak? The reason being is I like to please people.

I am married to a wonderful woman. I don't live with my mother anymore, but I'm still making these choices to please her. My wife doesn't deserve to be treated that way. So from now on, and for the days ahead, I will journal my struggles about trying to please people in a separate journal. Is there a People Pleasers annonymus? I don't know if there is, but if there is, send me a link to it. 

For too long, I have been trying to please people and make them like me and I feel like I am not being myself. 

Me and the wife talked about it and I agreed to do the hard work to spend less time with my Mother (not stop visiting her) but limiting my time, because she does manipulation and crocodile tears. When she's not, she's great. It's only when she wants something that she tries to play the "you don't see me enough" crap. I love her, but I am going to be firm, but polite to her when it comes to making plans, because she changes plans so much that is makes me angry. 

So, Rant over, thanks for listing :D