People are crazy.
Well, I was just informed that all of Lynns friends are saying I am the reason he is gone. Apparently some are saying that I gave him the pills. They are saying that its all my fault. How in the hell do I cope with something like this now on top of everything else?? I love that man with all my heart. Here I am grieving everyday for my love that is gone and this....person tells me all this. I feel like Im gonna lose it now. I cant handle this.
Replies
I am so sorry to hear that Karen. You do not need to listen to such hurtful comments. You know not matter what the circumstances of someone passing their is always gonna be someone lashing out on the one that everyone knew as #1 in that persons life. Some people do not know how to handle grief so they want some one to blame. My husband passed in a car accident as you know and in the beginning his family treated me like crap. They may have never came out and said it was my fault but that is the I was looked at and talked to. This hurt me very much but at one point my sister stepped in and called them and told them that I needed some time alone to grieve because they were only making me feel worse. I think that was for the best because if I would have told them how I really felt then they would have hated me. I wanted to keep peace with them as much as possible. The only advice I can give you is to stay away from those whom seem to to hurt you. It is not your fault, Okay? I am praying for you. It is not easy, but will make it through this.
Hugs, Milla
Dear Karen, This is an awful thing for you to have to deal with on top of your grief. I live in a small town, and rumors were all kinds of crazy when each of my children died. People that do not have anything better to do than gossip and spread untruths,lies, half truths, or things that are just plain made up. are not worth your time! Do your best to stay away from them, and do not even talk to them. Sweetie you know the truth, and you know what and how things happened. You and God, and the 2 of you are the only 2 that matter at this time about this. You hold your head up and you go on as best as you can, day by day. Just hour by hour if a day is too much for you! It always seems like the worse the person is, the worse gossip they tell. I think they are so miserable that they just want everyone else to be covered with the same misery. You do not need this! You do not deserve this! My oldest son committed suicide. Thsi is hard to live with. BUT when he was alive, we took him to Doctors, and to counseling, and we did everything that we could do. We as a family tried to be there for him and give him what he needed. In the end, we just could not help him, because he would not let us. He was a 38 yr. old man. Noone could make him do anything. The first time he tried ti kill himself, me, his step dad and step sister called 911. to save his life. Then they committed him to a menal health hospitol. All that did was make him mad. He forgave us because he did understand that we were trying to help him and that wel loved him. In the end of it all, when everything is said and done, each of us has to take up responsibility for ourselves. Karen we could not help Steven because he did not want us to. Your fiance, was rown. You could not be ther 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. You gave him love, and you tried to help him. You ignore the people who are ignorant to the situiation. Do not pay them any attention. You try to distance yourself from these people if you can, as far as you can. People that take pills, sometimes have accidents, and take more than they remembered they did. What ever happened, is not my business, or any of theirs. I was not trying to say that your boyfriend took his own life on purpose,like my Steven did. I am just using the gossipping people, and the help we tried to give Steven as an example to tell you that people are just sometimes mean, and talk when they should not. They are just not nice people. I hope you can distance yourself from theem. I am so sorry that on top of your grief, you have to deal with them.Love peggy