People
Happy Friday, Sisters of my Heart!! Well, people never cease to amaze me what they say. Yesterday I ventured out and was sharing to our school counselor about different things I am thinking about becoming involved in. I told her, I have such a tremendous void in my life without Jennifer. The emptiness I feel of not being needed as a mom, anymore and how that has affected me. I also said, not having any children is so tough.....so she listened and then said, "I know, my daughter will be going off to college and I will be childless"....."I need to think of something to do as well".........SIGH, SIGH, SIGH.......CHILDLESS???? Which one of your 3 living children made you childless?
There would have been a time when I would have burst into tears and that one comment would have ruined my day but I found myself yesterday just walking away with a smile and a thought of "you do not know what you are saying"....Holidays, your children will come home to you - you can email, text, phone them when you want to hear their voice....yep, "forgive people, for they don't know"......
I've come a long way on this journey but not without so many speed bumps along the way......yesterday was definitely a speed bump but with a caution sign in that I will be cautious what I share because people just don't know and I wouldn't want them to know what we deal with every day living this life without our most precious children.
Sisters, I'm so grateful you are here - you are my life line and I'm very appreciative. Sending much hugs & love on this Friday!!
Always Jennifer's mom!
Replies
Vicki, you are amazing! Taking the high road instead of slapping her upside the head - just kidding about slapping, but sometimes these fantasies play out in my head when someone says something so insensitive to me. You are so right to forgive them because they truly don't have a clue (lucky them). But wow, a school counselor should have the skills to be more sensitive!
I had almost the same experience. I had a relative tell me the same thing...she knows how I feel because she had to see her daughter off to college. I had to walk away. I was speechless.
You handled yourself beautifully. I'm so proud of you. I hope I do as well the next time someone misspeaks. Thank you for sharing. Loving you and dearest Jennifer, Linda ♡
Just to let you know, the vision in my head is a skillet going "WHACK" - but fortunately no skillets @ school.....LOL
You truly responded very well, Vicki! Yes, unfortunately we can not share what we sometimes want to share, with the people outside. They mean well, but end up hurting us môre because they simply can not understand! This is the main reason why I decided to withdraw and mostly keep to myself. You responded much better than me!
Lots of loving hugs to you and Jennifer! xxx
good thing you walked away..... what is also hard about hearing those things is getting it out of your head afterwards.... I find those things get stuck in my head and then I mull them over and over... love you!
People say the dumbest things. They don't know they are saying dumb things but they are. You did well - I am afraid I would have said 'You are so lucky - your daughter can come home'. I can't even find the words for people who make such comments!
The bumps will always be here but they are fewer and farther between. And we have each other. FMO has kept me somewhat sane in this crazy world.
Tight hugs, M
I sometimes feel almost childless... my surviving child and I hardly speak... Its painful but I have hope that we will find our way together... your loss is not temporary... I am so sorry the counselor was so ignorant... perhaps we should be grateful for her sake that she is... but when people are so stupid.. I do wish somehow she could be made aware of how insensitive her comment was... I'm glad you were able to keep your silence and just walk away... sometimes that's all you can do about stupid... Hugs Elissa
It's good to know I'm not the only one having visions play out in my head, Vicki.
♡ ♡ ♡