Peaceful

I like Sunday morning! I am going to make it Pancakes for the Dogs morning. The dogs support me in this decision. I need to get more peanut butter. They love it on their cakes. I think Saturday night will be shopping at the Big Store night because I went there last night and it was full of people and seemed kind of cheerful. I also like their yogurt. I am going to try to eat better this week. i am going to make some soup and rice today so I'll have a lot of dinners. I come home and go to bed rather than fool with food because I am tired and sad. I also only have 20 minutes to eat lunch at my job and I don't think there is a microwave available so that is hard. I am quitting my job on March 23 at the end of the quarter. They are mad. But I am tired and confused a lot and not doing a good job at all and I think that I will give them more money. It is a religious school and money quiets them down a little. I am going to pay them for each sick day I have taken since I've been there. I know it sounds weird but I don't want to owe them anything. Is that Pride?  I don't know. I want a peaceful heart above all. I don't really think James ever left me. I think he is still near but I miss his old form. I know these next couple weeks at school will be tough but I will just keep walking and get through it. 
Thank God for friends! I was out with a bunch yesterday and then one of them and I went to lunch and out thrift store shopping. It was fun! I am going to come up with new traditions and habits. I ordered a bee hive and got it last week! I am intimidated to open it. James and I took a beekeeping class last Spring and we liked it but did not get started since we were saving money hard for retirement. Now I just have to retire for one so it is cheaper. Wish me luck as a beekeeper!
My dear friend Pat, who has lost her best friend, husband and three sons tells me,
"It will never be the same but it will get better." I'm counting on that. Love to all.