PD Husband is Driving me crazy
I just need to vent. I care for my husband who has Parkinson's and about 6 months ago (when I got ill) my children got him a caregiver to come in the house 40 hours a week to help care for him. I ended up keeping her and my son helps me to pay for it. This allows me to do volunteer church work and also gives him better care. But he has been talking his caregiver into taking him to an Indian Casino about 1 hour away so he can play blackjack. I actually knew he was going on Tuesday and that he had money in his wallet to play with so I approved his caregiver taking him on Tuesday. But he was losing and he used our debit card to get $400 more to play with and of course he lost it all. I was angry at him for using the debit card as that is not okay and I told him he can't go to the casino anymore. I thought his caregiver understood. I also took away both his debit card and credit card because his excuse was that he had the card in his wallet (so he couldn't help himself).
Now today he got the caregiver to take him again even though he didn't have any money. I got a text from her that he borrowed $180 from her and I also had to pay her mileage of 136 miles round trip. When I talked later to the caregiver she said that my husband insisted on going to the casino. My husband says he is sorry and won't do it again but I am very frustrated.
My husband is never satisfied. He is taken care of very well. He eats very well. He goes on a walk daily and has Tai Chi once a week. I normally take him to church on Sunday. Seems like the more I do for him the more he wants. Lately he has been complaining that I haven't taken him on vacation. I tried to explain to him that it is difficult to care for him in a hotel and he can't do a lot without having anxiety attacks, dyskinesias, incontinence, etc. He thinks of no one except himself. I have to take care of everything around our house and have two rental properties to also care for.
He doesn't seem to realize that I have sacrificed a lot to care for him. All I ask is a little appreciation and cooperation. I get neither.
Anyway, that is why I feel sad and kind of lonely. I know I have things to be thankful for and I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Now today he got the caregiver to take him again even though he didn't have any money. I got a text from her that he borrowed $180 from her and I also had to pay her mileage of 136 miles round trip. When I talked later to the caregiver she said that my husband insisted on going to the casino. My husband says he is sorry and won't do it again but I am very frustrated.
My husband is never satisfied. He is taken care of very well. He eats very well. He goes on a walk daily and has Tai Chi once a week. I normally take him to church on Sunday. Seems like the more I do for him the more he wants. Lately he has been complaining that I haven't taken him on vacation. I tried to explain to him that it is difficult to care for him in a hotel and he can't do a lot without having anxiety attacks, dyskinesias, incontinence, etc. He thinks of no one except himself. I have to take care of everything around our house and have two rental properties to also care for.
He doesn't seem to realize that I have sacrificed a lot to care for him. All I ask is a little appreciation and cooperation. I get neither.
Anyway, that is why I feel sad and kind of lonely. I know I have things to be thankful for and I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Replies
Wow that is awful. I would not allow a caregiver to do that again. Really she should know better.
I feel the same about what my husband expects from me.
He wants to go away for a vacation,but doesn\'t seem to get that it is so much work.
I retired from my job as a nurse to look after him. Working outside the home was easier,because after my shift I went home.
I have given up a lot to care for him ,
His family is no help at all.
So sorry that this is hard for you. I hope things will be better
Thanks, Laurapaq, for your response. If I was the one being taken care of, I would be so grateful, but I never see that from him. I don\'t know if it is just men, that they expect women to take care of them or it is my husband.
I am sorry that you are going through a similar situation. I would rather be working also. I think I will be okay. I hope you will also be okay.
God bless you!