Patiently waithing
It's been 3 months since my world was flipped upside down. I have to be optimistic and believe this roller coaster will come to an end. I feel my husband is in complete mid life crisis mode. I have to believe that his new relationship will crash and burn. I have been thinking a lot lately of moving to the state where he is and pray that being in the same area will jar him back t reality. If not at least our girls will be close enough to see him whenever. I am not happy about things but i am willing to be patient and let things run there course. It is all i can stand not to text his new flame to let her know i am not going anywhere and not to get to comfortable, but the back lash would be severe. I am not giving up......
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I\'m sorry you find yourself in this situation. Your husband may be having a mid-life crisis but he has to snap out of it of his own volition. Given the instability in your relationship this may not be the best time to move with your children and take away things that are familiar. You\'re right to think that the roller coaster ride will end but be open to the possibility that the end may come when you choose to get off the ride.
I don\'t mean to imply that you\'re husband won\'t come around. I hope he does. I also know from personal experience that it doesn\'t always work out that way. My husband gave me the \"I don\'t love you in that way\", \"I\'m not sure I want to be married\", \"I don\'t know who I am anymore\" speech. I thought he was having a mid-life crisis. I stuck it out for months while he humiliated me in a number of ways including dating. Those are months of my life I can\'t get back that were wasted on someone who\'d already left the building.
Remember that you will be fine no matter what happens.
Hugs, my friend. First you need to start looking after yourself and your girls. He already made his choice. Chasing him around, forget it. Get some legal advice and a therapist. They will be your lifeline. Even if you do not need them, you will have the knowledge and support you will need, big time. The trust and respect are broken. Ask yourself, can you really trust and respect someone like that. If they can do it with you, they can do it to you. Any relationship started on deceit cannot survive. He will always be looking over his shoulder and so will she. I tried and failed. Now I am doing fine.
I too was patient and waited but my stbx had trouble committing, to having a healthy relationship, he left me countless times, I always went after him...every stinking time because I loved him. Last Dec. he left again, I waited a couple of weeks (the longest I ever let him go) just to see what he would do....he did nothing. Soooo, I went after him AGAIN but I made it clear, this was the last time. He left again in Feb and I did not go after him. As hard as it was, as hard as it has been, as hard as it\'s going to be, I deserve better. This is not a normal behavior. Marriage takes two, when one checks out and does so continually, there is a problem. I think everyone deserves a second or even third chance and we\'re definitely not judging here so if you think waiting him out will work, you can try it. I know in my case it just prolonged the outcome. My counselor likened it to a game, why go all innings for the same outcome.
Like you said, this \"new\" relationship will probably crash and burn, but do you really want what is left?
I\'m sorry you\'re going thru this, its not fun. Make sure to go with your gut, come to this site often and take care of YOU and those precious girls. You and they are all that matters. He messed up and look at what he lost. Good luck in your decision, it is really only up to you to decide, no one else!!!! Hugs.