patience

Penpal -  The comment you made about our counselor taking a "measured approach" is a good way to describe it.  I was trying to be positive and patient about how the counselor wanted us to handle our 18 year old (that lives in a 14 year old body) that also back to experimenting with drugs. I don't know how many times we've tried to talk to him and how many times he's not followed our expectations but thought we'd try it again.   So last night I enticed T-Man with his favorite - Chipotle.  Thought he'd come home for that - not. Hubby and I were ready to have our heart to heart with him and he was a no show.  Never even answered our calls.  So husband and I take it out on each other.... it wasn't fun. T did end up showing up later in the evening but went directly downstairs. So we took a deep breath went down there and he didn't want to talk - kept strumming his guitar.  We spoke over his playing and for some he started listening.  It was a great conversation and, hopefully, we made some headway.  Since he didn't show up last night for dinner, tonight we're having his other favorite - steak.  Having dinner with us, at least, once a week are one of our expectations.  He agreed.  Guess we're having steak once a week.......yikes.  Update:  T ended up showing up to dinner - late.  We had a nice gathering and then he was up and out in a matter of minutes.  Husband went to pack for his ski trip, only to discover that $500.00 of his trip money was missing. He texted T (since T seldom will talk on the cell) and asked him why he stole it. He didn't deny it and told my husband he has no idea how awful he feels and told him to take the $ out of his account!  Like that was going to make everything okay.  They texted back and forth.  My husband was so upset he was silent. He said he doesn't even want to go on the ski trip anymore.  He also asked me if I was ready to kick him out. Sure - when it effects him now he's talking about it.  My husband has been so emotionally and physically removed - it's no wonder he's been able to ignore it.  I know he wasn't serious about sending our son on his own..... but I wish he'd ........ oh I don't know anymore.