Path of Love
I was going to make a list of things I did right for Rufus, but then I realized it wouldn't make much difference for me, because in my mind everything I did right was part of my duty and everything I did wrong was failing in my duty. And, at any rate, if I start adding up, he's given me much more than I've ever given him. But then I decided I'd do something else instead - start a blog dedicated to him and consciously focus on my love for him. Despite what my mind tells me when the guilt recording starts playing in my head, I know I loved (and love) him as if he were my own flesh and would have given anything to make him well. I know he loves me too and has forgiven me everything. Some say our fur babies come into our lives to teach us something and leave when their role is done. I know Rufus was meant to come into my life, I'm having trouble finding any meaning in his death and believing that he was meant to leave the way he did. But, if he was indeed supposed to teach me something, I'm sure his message had something to do with love. And I'm telling myself that by choosing to focus on love and by encouraging other people to do the same I can keep his memory alive. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to do this through this blog, but somehow it feels like a fit memorial for Rufus. It's not going to make me miss him any less, but perhaps it will help me remember all the light and joy he brought into my life.
You can check the first post on the blog here, if you want: http://rufusgiftoflove.blogspot.ro/
Hugs, praying each day brings us all one step closer to healing! xoxo
You can check the first post on the blog here, if you want: http://rufusgiftoflove.blogspot.ro/
Hugs, praying each day brings us all one step closer to healing! xoxo
Replies
What a wonderful way to honor and remember Rufus!
Hugs xoxo
thats s good idea,i cant say what i wrote on my journal has made me feel better,its actually depressing me more cause its making me think and miss him even more,im hoping someday i can think of him and not feel that kick in the gut i get now everytime i think of him.i suppose we just have to hold onto that love we have and try to focus on it instead of focusing on the end of their lives.its hard but i hope someday i can,hugs to you xx
that is so sweet,ive just read it and i really hope it helps you xx
Thank you both for cheering me on, I hope you know how much your kind words mean for me. Babyclay, most days I feel just like you, I still go to bed every night wishing I could turn back time and I still half-hope, in a corner of my mind, that I might wake up and discover it was all a long nightmare... I know how hard it is to focus on their life and on the love and joy they\'ve given us when we ache for their presence, and guilt is making it even harder, but I hope I can push myself to do it through this blog. It takes time, our pain is still raw, but perhaps by pushing ourselves to focus on the happy times we will be able to tone down some of the guilt talk in our heads. So perhaps you too could find something that will motivate you to focus on the positives, I don\'t know, like trying to write down some happy memories or stories about Clay for your kids. Hugs, hope next week is kinder on all of us! xoxo