Past two weeks

I have been jotting lyrics down to punk music. Ive been working on my resume. I figured out how to get audio learn how to Speak spanish at my library. I went to a Dj night at club area 51. I have spoken to my psychologist twice and have another appointment on August 28th. I talked to her about how I have ran into a lot of dead ends in my life. She told me that all people do. I'm doing my best at trying to not feel stuck. She said to defintely check out flight attendant role she agreed that the economy has gone to hell. A bunch of jobs went over seas back in 2008 to 2010. It is almost pointless now to go to college... except for a few fields like being a nurse. I am out of school money so again like I said dead end. Flight attendant roles have at least a 1,000 applicants pouring in every week so it's not a gaurentee either. I have two CNA tests this month hopefully I will pass them and I can have that on my resume too, Airlines like to hire people that have already worked on their feet. Ive talked a couple of times with one of my elementry freinds and my high school friend Sarah chats with me on my cell phone. It's been helping me get out of my head. My mom has been sick lately and needs to take care of her lungs. If she goes soon I have no where to go... possibly theres this apartment complex that is Project based section 8 nearby they don't have any one bedrooms. But maybe within a few months time I could get one of my friends to be with me in there. It would be a few months before I got in there so I would probably end up in a homeless shelter for a while. Who knows. I could wait until Jay gets an apartment in Maine and crash on his couch. But I don't know smart that would be because he was crazier than hell months ago and needed his antipsychotics. Well at least he is finally on them and admits he is schizoaffective. Anyway I haved also been microlearning by reading summaries of books 15minutes a day. So far I have read: 5 second rule, The education of Millionaires, Unfuck yourself, The Financial diet,How to make people like you, money master the game. 

So far what ive learned is that in order to be motivated you have to seperate your emotions from actions. Like launching out of bed in the morning. Ive also learned that college is becoming more and more obsolete in this country. That to help your brain you cant expect anything out of life (embrace your uncertainties). Youre not your thoughts you are what you do so stand relentless with it. Willingness is a state that enables you to engage with life  and see a situation from a new perspective. Expect nothing accept everything.

Ive always been relentless.... I cant explain anything else to why I have lived even this long. 

Tonight I am going to watch a movie with my elementry school friend.. I am assuming theres going to be other people there. Lets just hope he doesnt get weird with me like my friend Brian did. Too bad that ended a friendship. If this doesnt work out I may only be friends with other women from now on. I don't know just gotta live life.