past experiences
It is still evident that my experience of infidelity and the dealings with Mark have affected my life and how I deal with things. I suspect it always will.
I am very aware of areas in which I need to be careful not to overact, such as those associated with trust, which is a good thing.
I am very happily in my relationship with Gregg still, after 13 months and he is wonderful.
We play mixed golf on a Sunday and did so yesterday. His previous mixed golf parter of several years prior to me was there yesterday. A woman, who is what I would call a mans woman- not one who speaks well with women, but who does with men, and who is flirtly and loud with them. I have met women like this in the past so I understand her.
She had been overseas for a few months and had not seen Gregg for a few months but yesterday on the golf course from a fairway away, I hear this "Gorgeous! I have not seen you in ages, give me a cuddle" and she drives her golf buggy over to Gregg to follow through. I was standing around 5metres from him, and she knows me and has known me for a year.
No hello at all for me, not even an acknowledgement, just straight into Gregg.
For me, there as an instinct to just walk away and ignore it, which I did. Then I simmered and simmered for the rest of the day. I spoke to the other woman playing in our group who is our friend and was pleased to find that she found the episode quite inappropriate on Vesna's behalf (that is the flirty woman).
I walked away for I was afraid that I would over-react, given that women always used to openly flirt with Mark and I hated it. Given also that, unbeknownst to me, he used to follow up on their flirts.
I simmered all day. It was not GRegg's fault and I did not expect him to do anything different - perhaps he could have said "Elaine is here too" but I think by the time he got out of her arms I was a way away as I did walk away pretty quickly.
I thought about it all during the game and debated telling Gregg about why I was upset, but did not say a thing as I was worried I was overreacting.
By the time I got home I was tired and it got the better of me. I stewed on it for a few more hours then blurted it out to Gregg, telling him it pissed me off the way that his supposed friend was rude to me and did not acknowledge me.
He says there is nothing between them other than friendship. Some part of me niggles that perhaps there was more once, or that they slept with each other and because she is married they kept it quiet. I just have this inkling about it, not sure why and there is no foundation to my suspicions, but a hunch. Gregg has admitted to sleeping with a few married women in the past - and I will admit that that does bother me a lot about him.
I am quite secure that he would not cheat on me. I am quite sure that if he was not happy he would break up with me, as he has had many women in both short and long term relationships in the past and has no problem being on his own.
He is happy with me as I see it. I feel that he loves me.
I was just terribly upset, and still am, that Vesna would firstly call out 'gorgeous' (for that is what Gregg calls me and I guess now that I know the two of them called each other the same, it is no longer a precious term to me), and I was pissed that she did know acknowledge me at the same time. I think it very rude of her, and I wonder why she did not.
She later saw me in the ladies change rooms. She was walking towards me and went out the doorway, and I thought to myself "here we go again, she is ignoring me again", but she came back in the door to say a sentence to me about how hot is was and that she had been in the USA only a few days before and it was -20 degrees. No hello, how are you. Nothing at all.
I read into that that she is jealous of me, or wants to make me uncomfortable. I am not sure. Maybe, as GRegg says, it is her way.
Gregg says she does that to other men, but i have not seen it. He also does not read into her actions to him as I do, but that is a man for you. One time she told him how much she liked his backside. That is flirty, but he did not even notice - or at least he said he didnt.
As gregg said, she was rude, but I should not have walked away. Instead, I should have walked up to her as she was hugging him and stood by his side and said "Hi Vesna, long time no see". That indeed was the right thing to do, as it puts her in her space and asserts my authority. But at the same time, that makes me seem like a woman who has to protect her man - someone who is not sure of herself and her relationship that she has to watch his every move. I do not want that.
I need to be vigilant in watching other women, as I was not before and look what Mark did behind my back. BUT, I need not be overly so, for it will push suitors away.
I hate what Mark did to me in this regard. Hate it.
I am very aware of areas in which I need to be careful not to overact, such as those associated with trust, which is a good thing.
I am very happily in my relationship with Gregg still, after 13 months and he is wonderful.
We play mixed golf on a Sunday and did so yesterday. His previous mixed golf parter of several years prior to me was there yesterday. A woman, who is what I would call a mans woman- not one who speaks well with women, but who does with men, and who is flirtly and loud with them. I have met women like this in the past so I understand her.
She had been overseas for a few months and had not seen Gregg for a few months but yesterday on the golf course from a fairway away, I hear this "Gorgeous! I have not seen you in ages, give me a cuddle" and she drives her golf buggy over to Gregg to follow through. I was standing around 5metres from him, and she knows me and has known me for a year.
No hello at all for me, not even an acknowledgement, just straight into Gregg.
For me, there as an instinct to just walk away and ignore it, which I did. Then I simmered and simmered for the rest of the day. I spoke to the other woman playing in our group who is our friend and was pleased to find that she found the episode quite inappropriate on Vesna's behalf (that is the flirty woman).
I walked away for I was afraid that I would over-react, given that women always used to openly flirt with Mark and I hated it. Given also that, unbeknownst to me, he used to follow up on their flirts.
I simmered all day. It was not GRegg's fault and I did not expect him to do anything different - perhaps he could have said "Elaine is here too" but I think by the time he got out of her arms I was a way away as I did walk away pretty quickly.
I thought about it all during the game and debated telling Gregg about why I was upset, but did not say a thing as I was worried I was overreacting.
By the time I got home I was tired and it got the better of me. I stewed on it for a few more hours then blurted it out to Gregg, telling him it pissed me off the way that his supposed friend was rude to me and did not acknowledge me.
He says there is nothing between them other than friendship. Some part of me niggles that perhaps there was more once, or that they slept with each other and because she is married they kept it quiet. I just have this inkling about it, not sure why and there is no foundation to my suspicions, but a hunch. Gregg has admitted to sleeping with a few married women in the past - and I will admit that that does bother me a lot about him.
I am quite secure that he would not cheat on me. I am quite sure that if he was not happy he would break up with me, as he has had many women in both short and long term relationships in the past and has no problem being on his own.
He is happy with me as I see it. I feel that he loves me.
I was just terribly upset, and still am, that Vesna would firstly call out 'gorgeous' (for that is what Gregg calls me and I guess now that I know the two of them called each other the same, it is no longer a precious term to me), and I was pissed that she did know acknowledge me at the same time. I think it very rude of her, and I wonder why she did not.
She later saw me in the ladies change rooms. She was walking towards me and went out the doorway, and I thought to myself "here we go again, she is ignoring me again", but she came back in the door to say a sentence to me about how hot is was and that she had been in the USA only a few days before and it was -20 degrees. No hello, how are you. Nothing at all.
I read into that that she is jealous of me, or wants to make me uncomfortable. I am not sure. Maybe, as GRegg says, it is her way.
Gregg says she does that to other men, but i have not seen it. He also does not read into her actions to him as I do, but that is a man for you. One time she told him how much she liked his backside. That is flirty, but he did not even notice - or at least he said he didnt.
As gregg said, she was rude, but I should not have walked away. Instead, I should have walked up to her as she was hugging him and stood by his side and said "Hi Vesna, long time no see". That indeed was the right thing to do, as it puts her in her space and asserts my authority. But at the same time, that makes me seem like a woman who has to protect her man - someone who is not sure of herself and her relationship that she has to watch his every move. I do not want that.
I need to be vigilant in watching other women, as I was not before and look what Mark did behind my back. BUT, I need not be overly so, for it will push suitors away.
I hate what Mark did to me in this regard. Hate it.
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