Past and Present

Monday, June 9, 2008 -- 9:40 AM Strangeness has come over me this morning. I am feeling neither good nor bad. I feel as though I am awake and know what is going on around me, but I am just going through the motions of living.   My mood is down again. During the weekend, past memories have been surging up into my mind. I have tried not to think about them, but that is impossible. Some of them fill me with terror, while others give me a sense of self-loathing and hate. This is one of those times when I am not happy to be alive.    A nurse from my home health care agency came to see me this morning. While she was here, she asked if I was still having pain and I replied yes. She then went on to label it as "chronic pain." I disagreed and told her so. I never had this amount of pain in my legs and back prior to one of their employees injuring me in December. If the people who run that agency think they are going to get away with "conveniently" forgetting that one of their employees ignored my doctor's orders, and caused me to have a small fracture in my left foot, and then think they can just forget about it, they have another thought coming. They can try to play the old "pass the buck" game, but as far as I'm concerned, the buck stops with them!     This afternoon, I am going to see my physical therapist. She will continue working on my legs to try and alleviate the pain in them. I believe she will also talk with me about possible plans to do some type of therapy on my back. That will take another order from my doctor, but I am seeing him tomorrow. I have several things I want to discuss with him, including why the people in his office have failed to call my pharmacy and approve a refill of some medication that I asked for over a week ago.    Quotes for Success:   “To respond is positive, to react is negative.” Zig Ziglar