parkinsons and confessions
Today. I think l gained a little insight into myself....... Insight about why l have not told anyone l have pd..
I think these are the reasons..........First time needing real help...... I was in an abusive, terribly abusive marriage for 16 years, and l had so many so called friends and acquaintances tell me, they would help me....... Truth was help never came, support also never came. I had to do the escape , all alone, at my lowest point. I thought then, people are full of false promises and lies.
The second time l needed help in my life was when l had a foot operation, and was unable to walk , for a couple of months , I needed help with food shopping, home duties etc....... i received false promises of help from my friends which never came, i only receieved help from my aging mother (god bless her soul).......
So what will change when l confess l have pd, I am not going to get help from anyone. This is the big confession, l have pd, and I might need a little bit of help/
My honsest thought is if no one ever bothered to help me with the other big things in my life,,,,,,,, and this is the big biggest challenge i face. Well I know l will face it alone, as l have faced everything else, and that is the truth
People are all to caught up with themselves, and that is the truth.......... I honestly think I am doing my self an honest favour, with not believing that anyone really cares.
On line l have many friends, but in the real world NONE, and it is okay
I think these are the reasons..........First time needing real help...... I was in an abusive, terribly abusive marriage for 16 years, and l had so many so called friends and acquaintances tell me, they would help me....... Truth was help never came, support also never came. I had to do the escape , all alone, at my lowest point. I thought then, people are full of false promises and lies.
The second time l needed help in my life was when l had a foot operation, and was unable to walk , for a couple of months , I needed help with food shopping, home duties etc....... i received false promises of help from my friends which never came, i only receieved help from my aging mother (god bless her soul).......
So what will change when l confess l have pd, I am not going to get help from anyone. This is the big confession, l have pd, and I might need a little bit of help/
My honsest thought is if no one ever bothered to help me with the other big things in my life,,,,,,,, and this is the big biggest challenge i face. Well I know l will face it alone, as l have faced everything else, and that is the truth
People are all to caught up with themselves, and that is the truth.......... I honestly think I am doing my self an honest favour, with not believing that anyone really cares.
On line l have many friends, but in the real world NONE, and it is okay
Replies
SORRY TO READ SUCH A SAD STORY. I WONDER, IF STILL IN DENIAL, AT THE NEED FOR BEING ON THIS SITE.
I am not in denial about having PD. I know l have it. I am being a realist with my situation based on past experience. I made a choice a couple of years ago to not associate with my so called friends. As they were never friends.
I did tell a couple of them l had pd, and they didnt care. I was never once asked how l was, how l was feeling. That showed me that these friendships were only one sided. So I dumped all of my friends.
I do have a great boyfriend, he is all l want now. I cannot tell my mother anything, as she suffers from massive anxiety, and cannot deal with her own life.
I have PD , and Im coping, so it is okay.
Although last night after posting my journal, l had terrible thoughts and dreams of hopelessness.
And this morning woke up, and decided how useless those feelings are, and it will get me no where apart from feeling miserable.
So today is onwards, and upwards
I am glad that you have reached a good point in your fight with PD! I think most people have had negative feedback from some family,friends and neighbors who don\'t understand PD or just don\'t want to be involved with people that are ill !!! I hope you have a wonderful week !! hugs
I understand what you talking about , i did not tell anybody also,my reason iis ,i donot want anybody pity for me, in case of your friends ,obviously they were not your friends ,however sometimes people want to help but do not know how ,in addition always count on yourself and do not have expectation from anybody ,you ar e strong woman i read your comments sometimes i like your attitude and yes you are gorges,,,have fun
Onwards and Upwards...way to go peachbum...It is wonderful that you have a great boyfriend. I have taken the attitude that my best friend is me! My best friend (me) forces me to exercise, walk, play memory games, and write. I do not allow myself to let my best friend agitate me...Plus I have the support of my wife and my two sons from a distance
Thanks all of you, what great messages you leave me. I wish l could give you a real hug, guess you just need to know that l do mean that
Hi peachy, I just read this entry and feel quite sad. Parkinson\'s is a lonely condition because \" The Normies\" as I call them, would not have a clue what it is like inside a Parkies body. The anxiety we face each day, the fear of the unknown with our future, the pain we endure, all of these things we face alone. But having said that , I feel there is some good things about having Parkie. I would rather not have it, but I do and so I just make the most of each and every day. I have had it for 21 years now and manage very well on my own. It has made me a determined lady, a nicer lady, and a more confident lady as well. I probably do more now than I ever did. I find that people that you meet along the way are helpful and kind, that\'s my experience anyway. So peachy , life with Parkinson\'s is damn hard, there is no getting away from that , but I hope for you that you find a good spot in this world that you can find love happiness and contentment. and I am glad that we are friends