Paranoia
Anxiety and Paranoia are overtaking me, feeling someone is out to get me, and has a plan to hurt me emotionally, these are times I have always one upped the feeling, doing what I fear someone would do and doing it better and sneakier, I can't take the demons that are in my head that tell me these things, I want to exist and just be happy and depend on everyone around me to be happy and love me for me to be happy, I really am weary of this fight.
Replies
Hi!
Something you must know: People can only hurt you (emotionally) when you allow them to.
I was once like you, I depend my happiness on people around me completely, and I realise it\'s very hard to be happy and even if I were, I don\'t stay happy for long. Happiness should come from within.. This is very hard to achieve though, it takes time. Have you been shutting yourself at home for many days? Go out and have a walk! You May feel better and being outdoors help you to overthink less. Cheer up :) you deserve to be happy just like anyone else.
I haven\'t learned to not let others control my want for happiness, I want to, I just haven\'t got there, I want to be happy with me, badly, desperately, I feel as if my mind will spin off my head sometimes, I don\'t have anything but my kids that I can draw any comfort from, I so want to be able to comfort myself, I have to be able to I feel or I will not make it. Thanks so much for the comments, I have been still and not doing much and sure not attractive over the holidays, I have been depressed and losing hope, and not certain how I will function next week trying to work. I will try to get out of here today and be productive.
What kind of meds are u on hun? To me it sounds like u need to talk to your doc about mood stabilizers. I have found these the MOST effective in treating my bipolar. They help with some of the intrusive thoughts (like maybe your paranoia) - in my case impulsiveness, hopelessness, etc. Give it a shot. It might be very helpful :)
I take Lithium, hydroxyine and lexapro, I have stabilized somewhat, not able to cry anymore which overall is a great thing, dealing with feelings of not being loved, nor wanted from the one person in life I want to love me, I have gotten past some of the feelings thinking I will be alone, but I also dont know what the future is bringing me, trying to think about things slower and on a day to day basis, anxiety, and depression creep in some, but going to get this under control, have gym planned as my routine again, and trying no to stay in a doom and gloom scenario