Paper.

I opened the filing cabinet
today.
 
Papersandpapersandpapers
Erupted like a volcano
or
an avalanche of
flimsy snow.
 
Sorting piles beacuse
Im disorganized
and overwhelmed
and need some 
tranquility and order.
 
Bills
Receipts
art work and
Insurance policies
Your records
of arrests
It was all there
 
Love vs Love
I found
Your name,
next to mine
of a painful
Time
 
And a picture
fell out
of you
standing next to
a dried up
river bed in
Sacred Egypt
 
Dashingly handsome
in uniform with
a furrowed brow
and an M-16
 
And the memories
flooded in
 
Your fists in rage
up to my face
You trying to blow 
a candle out
naked
intoxicated
3 sheets to the wind
 
The day our baby 
was born
The day you said
Goodbye
 
the tears
the laughter
the violence
and drunkenness
and rage
and love
the lies
and the X files
bandaging gunshot wounds
and your other women
 
 
And then
 
they flooded out
 
Just like that.......
 
One by one
I reorganized every 
piece of 
paper
and
paper
and
paper
 
And my old
somber life
 
Neatly stacked
collated
Filed away
 
and a trusty friend
was right there
with me...
 
The paper shredder
 
I bid my farewell
and said my
goodbyes
 
And the avalanche
became confetti
made of 
paperandpaperandpaper
 
It looked like a party,
a celebration
Wiithout  the cake
or candles
 
and I smiled
in the midst of
the snow
 
Yet I felt no 
coldness
I didnt shiver
or quiver
or cry
 
and a new book 
can now begin
but it wont be written
on
paper