Panic Atttack in Group

So, on Monday nights I go to this sexual abuse support group.
 
Every week when it gets emotionally overwhelming I want to leave and I have thougths of cutting.  I never leave and I resist cutting.
 
Last night we had a double long session, so halfway through I thought - if I just leave for a few minutes I can relax, let my breathing get under control, and go back in.
 
I slipped into the next room - it's at a church and there's several conference rooms in a row down the hall.  Of course, once I was alone, the panic attack got worse - I couldn't smother it anymore because of appearances.
 
Eventually one of my friends from the group came looking for me - I had told her about the cutting and she wanted to make sure that that's not what I was doing - but she checked the bathrooms - not the conference rooms.
 
I tried to get up to tell her where I was, but my legs gave out under me and I collapsed to the floor.  So I climbed back up in the chair and stayed there.
 
A little later one of the group leaders came out and found me.  I told her at that point I couldn't walk.   So we talked until group was over and I was calmed down enough to walk to the car.  Fortunately someone gave me a ride last night.
 
I got home, pulled out some leftovers to prepare a small snack before bed, and was on the floor again in the kitchen!  It's so frustrating!  I hate this falling down thing.  Anyway, I was okay, just annoyed with it all.