Panic attack today

I just don't handle change well at all.  Never have, but I get worse and worse.  My son came over last night and I asked if he got his application in to pharmacy school.  Yes he tells me he applied to two in our state and one on the other side of the country where we used to live and he graduated from high school.   He has done nothing for the last 6 years except talk about moving away.   It gets so tiresome.  I am at a point I wish he would just do it.   Then I could cry buckets and maybe move on instead of feeling like this is being held over my head.
This one is devastating though as when he found his fiancé I thought he would live here forever.   Her family is all here and she is so rooted here.   I don't think she will like his friends out there.  She is a major, strict religion church goer and they were hard partying folk out there.  I don't think they will like him any more either as he joined her church and once in a while he is too preachy and I live a very moral life so that part doesn't bother me, but it will all his old friends.  Will say a few prayers he gets into one of the two schools here.   Sure wish he had applied in a few other states close by.  Would still be hard, but wouldn't need a plane ticket to see him.   They are so expensive.  Feel like I will never know my grandchildren.  Was so hoping he would stay close by, but it is obvious he still wants to go.
Been a pretty humdrum week otherwise.  Worked a lot.  In fact did some training at home I will have to clock in another week as I will run into overtime the last hour today and not supposed to have that.  When I work a lot I can't get on here much as my work blocks a lot of websites.  No facebook, no email, this site is blocked too.   It is pretty annoying.  I do like my job though and the people I work with.  Sometimes I just want to stay there as home and family is just too hurtful most of the time.   No one can hurt you like the people you love and I am way too thin skinned.