Pain I feel

Some days I wanna hide the pain and guilt I feel from missing you,
I don't always understand why things ended the way they had to...
Don't you understand I need you now more than ever...
But you abandoned me....Im covered in scarlet scars and open wounds..
I bleed from the inside out..
That only happens when im missing you...
mom cutting is a habit...its the only way I can feel..
Sometimes I miss you so much I dont know what else to do...
Eating is becoming harder everyday...
And believing that there is hope would be a miracle because right now for me...
there is none....
Why did you have to leave me here?
I live with strangers and I cry crimson tears..
As the blood runs down my arms and the tears down my face,
All I can think about is how much I loved you
But you left me in a world of hate and fear
No happiness can find me here.
And as long as your gone...
Ill continue to cut and bleed crimson regrets and cry a  flood of tears.