Panic

I feel panic.  Now that my husband and I are home and our granddaughter has gone home, I feel a sense of panic.  I am waiting for a dreadful phone call. My brother is not well, my niece has a heart problem - and Lisa died at the age of 37 so if it can happen to her, it can happen to anyone at any time.
I am worried because Cevyn is starting high school next month.  She won't have the caring people around her that she had in her small private school.  She is a quiet, shy person who does not like to show emotions. She will have to ride a bus to the regional high school where very few people know her. 
It is not getting easier.  I cry several times a day and have no energy to do anything. I'd call Lisa when I felt down.  I have friends who say I can call any time but it just isn't the same. I tried writing to her and talking to her but it isn't the same as talking on the phone.  I miss her quirky sense of humour.
Marlene