party

Hello journal,   i have had the feeling of impending panic over that last few days and it finally happened last night when i was at my mums house.  My wee brother kenny was having a party because my mum and dad are away on holiday, so there were only a few friends and family there, but about 9 o'clock i felt the rush of heat and new the attack was upon me.  I sat for ages trying to fight it off and i knew that if i went to the toilet to be sick then i would probably have to go home. It took about an hour to try and get it under control and for me to stop wanting to go home, its weird when you cant really tell anyone whats happening to you because you dont want to bring anymore attention to whats going on.  So today i am left with the post attack blues, im quite nervous and not able really to relax.  Roll on tomorrow when hopefully things will be better.