overwhelmed

I am doing better today.  I was a mess yesterday for some reason.  We do have a lot of decisions to make, and more worries, but today I decided to remember to Take One Day At A Time!    My son was accepted into a special program that includes a case worker for his treatment.  We love this guy, including our son.   Through this year long program he would be involved by helping us with any services and support we would need.  Included in this program -- no cost to us.  Initially, the program was set up for people who cannot pay or have any insurance.  It's in an urban setting.  The other day we were informed that they are going to tap into our insurance.  The problem this facility is out of our network, which would mean we would be responsible for 50% of the cost.  Not sure what that would be, yet.  Anyway, the director told us to check out another place that our insurance covers to see what the cost for us would be there.  It turns out that the other place is covered 100% minus co-pay.  Truthfully, I know of the other place - it's better BUT that would bump us out of the program the court recommended.  I also felt more secure having the extra support.  On the other hand, morally, I wrestle with the fact that we are, compared to other families who use this center, we can afford to go elsewhere and not take up the money allotted to this center through the program.  The money supply is coming from the taxes of the tobacco company.  Now I know why the supply is suddenly cut off.  Our "STUPID" governor, as quoted in the paper today, decided that he was going to take the prevention tobacco money out of the budget and put into a new job bill.  Now the sudden change by the center and the drug administration makes sense.   **Funny, we are told that no one will be turned down in this facility based on income.... I guess we are excluded.    T continues to have diluted drug test results.  I based it on the fact that he drinks lots and lots of water.  He took 4 bottles with him to school again today.   Because of his huge water intake, they are allowing some time to see if stopping will change the results.  He knows that if he continues,  he could be bumped up into the residential or day school, but it isn't deterring him. I told him that I'm going to make a doctor's appointment to see if there is anything like diabetes that is causing this excessive thirst.  He told me that that would be great.  So who knows?  Can't worry about that now.   There is a possibility, mind you, that Todd could be using or, at least, tried some again.  The way he behaved the other day when I told him that he had to go to tutoring, brought back some memories of the drug using days.  It could be that he's stressed to the max.  He told me that he is really struggling and is under a lot of pressure, very stressed.  That might explain his outrage.  Because of his outburst - I decided that he could call the tutor and arrange to make a two hour session over the weekend so that he could have a week day break.  I ended up taking his phone away for that outburst (swearing , disrespectful) and yesterday he expected to get it back.  The timing couldn't have been better because his new phone arrived in the mail.  I told him that I will give it back to him on Friday.  He told me that I wasn't adhering to the contract (take phone away for the day).  I told him that the way he behaved, it was more than just swearing so he deserves a longer consequence.  Funny how he suddenly pays attention to the contract.  Only if it works in his favor.  He's certainly high maintenance!