im so tired. need to take care of myself. not a good eater usually but almost bottomed out at work cause my sugar crashed big time. guess gotta stop being dumb ass and living off of coffee and redbull. im depressed sad lonely. but being big girl and not texting her a million times like a usually do. ya know i just want her to come over after work and hold me. but ya never happened when we were together an def aint happening now. but nice to dream. there was no i miss you today. just blah blah blah bitch about the weather. not im sorry i was demeaning to you sorry its not gonna work. sorry i was a jerk. oh well. i even posted myself back on the singles line not cause i want someone right now and damn know im not ready i think just to see if anyone wants me. i just want to be wanted and loved and whatever.