Overwhelmed

I am so tired. With AA convention, then a women's retreat, one weekend after another. I'm tired. My mind is like, running 100 miles an hour, and I'm tripping over my feet trying to keep up. My own place is filthy. I've been so busy with weekend events and working during the week, my apartment has suffered. Renovations at the main bank are wearing us out. We dust so much and vacuum, but it doesn't pay to really do a great job. The bank will just look that bad or worse the next day. A 9-month project. OMG!!! I really need to slow down and I need to start reading my recovery books. I miss my p.m. AA meetings during the week. My mind wanders off and I get emotional thinking about my freedom. My marriage being over for good. I never thought I'd be where I am today. But I'm so much happier. Sort of. A friend asked me if I was happy or if I was content. I said probably content. So much in my life needs to be balanced out and de-cluttered. Maybe in another year of my being on my own and becoming a more confident, independent woman will help me. I need to find out my calling in life, my purpose. I need to know why I'm on this earth. What is my talent. What is my gift to humankind. I like to think of myself as a good listener. Someone who a person can put their trust in. Nobody really opens up to me. Is it that I'm too busy for people? Or do people not trust me enough with their personal problems. I don't know. I worry about the craziest shit sometimes. Always looking for an excuse to beat myself up.