Over the past week
Over the past week, we have had 4 blowouts from my oh so wonderful husband(sarcasm)! I thought I should document it because well I tend to forget what the fights are even about because most of them are so stupid and trivial. Then I start to think, why is he so bad again?
The first was a week and a half ago I guess, he had purchased a website package for his new product and then expected me to know how to set it up and do everything. Wait a second, do I do webpages? Ah NO!So to say the least I was having issues with it and I was really getting frustrated but he just kept coming at me like I should know how to do this. I can't even remember what he said to me, this is ridiculous, but he was implying I was stupid and I kept saying I just can't do this, I've never done this before all the while I should know how, of course. This was in front of my son, him yelling and being condescending, I started to cry and he finally left me alone and went outside for a smoke. My son says to me "Mom why is dad so mean? It will be ok though mom, its not your fault, its his fault, he's always mean." So of course after he comes back in and I cave and say I will try harder and try to figure this out, racking my brain all night, just not getting how to do this thing and finally i said you need to call someone else because i dont get it. He did contact a guy and he came over and helped with a lot of it but still needs to be finished, which I'm sure i can do but i just dont care.
Ok second blow up was on monday, I asked him if he had his clothes for his appointment ready the next day, he said i dont know whats in my closet you told me they were clean. I said they were clean but you probably need to iron them. I guess that was the wrong thing to say. Now if I were a stay at home mom maybe i would be willing to iron his clothes but I am not, I work 40 hours a week and do e everything around the house, mind you, he is working one day a week and the rest of the time spent at home on the phone trying to sell his product. He says, I told you when you wash my clothes you need to hang them up right away so they dont get wrinkled, I dont know how to iron, you cant even do the simpliest things for me, you can' t do anyting for me anymore, to help me out for my business, i guess millions of dollars in sales means nothing to you and i could lose it now cuz i dont have proper clothes to wear. Are you kidding me? Over a shirt, that he can simply iron, i mean really its not rocket science. I said I dont have time to do your ironing, I do everything around here and I also work. I dont know if he ever ironed the shirt and frankly i dont give a crap. This is just so tiring, why does he think its ok for him to blow up at me when he could simply do it himself, i am not his mother.
I can't even think straight anymore, I can't even remember what the 3rd blow up was about! All i do know is after it was over, my husband went out for another smoke. My son was sitting next to me and said to me "Mom, dad is being a lot meaner lately, what is wrong with him? I said, I dont know what his problems is but Please know that how he talks is not ok and promise me when your grown up you will never talk to your wife the way your dad talks to me" My son says " Oooh, mom, I would never do that, I dont want to get divorced" Mind you, he's 9, I have no idea where the divorce thing came from, it puzzled me but he is a bright child.
The next blowup was yesterday while we were sitting in the truck watching our son at soccer practice. I had brought up to him that our neighbor came over for a few to talk to me, well she is not allowed at our house because her husband stood up to my husband and told him that he can not speak to his family anymore because he has had it with the attitude that he has, also how he talk to me and my son but he doens't know that because that would only cause problems for me, so the neighbor was so kind not to bring that into it. He just said to me that I do not talk to my wife disrespectfully and neither will anyone else, so he had it with my husband speaking rudely to his wife and told him that he wants nothing to do with him. So naturally my husband takes it upon himself to say that they are not allowed to speak with his family either, its only fair right ? lol blah! He starts in on me last night that I should stand by him and not want to talk to him because they dont want him in there lives. I said to him "In your words, you are a self proclaimed prick and you told him this when we were introduced to them and now that they dont want to put up with you, for something that you acknowledge that you are and you expect me to stand behind you when it is your fault? you will not choose my friends and I will not lose my friends because of you, I am done defending you!" Well he just kept going on about, oh who does he think he is saying i cant talk to his family, i have never done anything disrespectful to his kids, I said "It is his family and he gets to decide whether people are in there lives or not and he does not want people like you in there lives and his family agrees with him" Finally I just stopped talking to him and ignored what else he had to say.
Isn't this just sickening behaviour? I can't imagine talking to people the way he does and yet I'm scared to leave him, I feel guilty for wanting to leave him? Are you serious? A friend of mine says that I am too emotional to look at the situation rationally and says that I need to take a step back and really look at what he is doing and know that if I wasn't so emotionally attached to the situation that I would know the right thing to do, I'm trying to take a look at my life and rationalize what is going on, to try and focus on leaving and getting away from him so he will not be such an influence over our lives. Hardest fight I've ever had with myself, I wish I could just shut down my brain and do what needs to be done.
The first was a week and a half ago I guess, he had purchased a website package for his new product and then expected me to know how to set it up and do everything. Wait a second, do I do webpages? Ah NO!So to say the least I was having issues with it and I was really getting frustrated but he just kept coming at me like I should know how to do this. I can't even remember what he said to me, this is ridiculous, but he was implying I was stupid and I kept saying I just can't do this, I've never done this before all the while I should know how, of course. This was in front of my son, him yelling and being condescending, I started to cry and he finally left me alone and went outside for a smoke. My son says to me "Mom why is dad so mean? It will be ok though mom, its not your fault, its his fault, he's always mean." So of course after he comes back in and I cave and say I will try harder and try to figure this out, racking my brain all night, just not getting how to do this thing and finally i said you need to call someone else because i dont get it. He did contact a guy and he came over and helped with a lot of it but still needs to be finished, which I'm sure i can do but i just dont care.
Ok second blow up was on monday, I asked him if he had his clothes for his appointment ready the next day, he said i dont know whats in my closet you told me they were clean. I said they were clean but you probably need to iron them. I guess that was the wrong thing to say. Now if I were a stay at home mom maybe i would be willing to iron his clothes but I am not, I work 40 hours a week and do e everything around the house, mind you, he is working one day a week and the rest of the time spent at home on the phone trying to sell his product. He says, I told you when you wash my clothes you need to hang them up right away so they dont get wrinkled, I dont know how to iron, you cant even do the simpliest things for me, you can' t do anyting for me anymore, to help me out for my business, i guess millions of dollars in sales means nothing to you and i could lose it now cuz i dont have proper clothes to wear. Are you kidding me? Over a shirt, that he can simply iron, i mean really its not rocket science. I said I dont have time to do your ironing, I do everything around here and I also work. I dont know if he ever ironed the shirt and frankly i dont give a crap. This is just so tiring, why does he think its ok for him to blow up at me when he could simply do it himself, i am not his mother.
I can't even think straight anymore, I can't even remember what the 3rd blow up was about! All i do know is after it was over, my husband went out for another smoke. My son was sitting next to me and said to me "Mom, dad is being a lot meaner lately, what is wrong with him? I said, I dont know what his problems is but Please know that how he talks is not ok and promise me when your grown up you will never talk to your wife the way your dad talks to me" My son says " Oooh, mom, I would never do that, I dont want to get divorced" Mind you, he's 9, I have no idea where the divorce thing came from, it puzzled me but he is a bright child.
The next blowup was yesterday while we were sitting in the truck watching our son at soccer practice. I had brought up to him that our neighbor came over for a few to talk to me, well she is not allowed at our house because her husband stood up to my husband and told him that he can not speak to his family anymore because he has had it with the attitude that he has, also how he talk to me and my son but he doens't know that because that would only cause problems for me, so the neighbor was so kind not to bring that into it. He just said to me that I do not talk to my wife disrespectfully and neither will anyone else, so he had it with my husband speaking rudely to his wife and told him that he wants nothing to do with him. So naturally my husband takes it upon himself to say that they are not allowed to speak with his family either, its only fair right ? lol blah! He starts in on me last night that I should stand by him and not want to talk to him because they dont want him in there lives. I said to him "In your words, you are a self proclaimed prick and you told him this when we were introduced to them and now that they dont want to put up with you, for something that you acknowledge that you are and you expect me to stand behind you when it is your fault? you will not choose my friends and I will not lose my friends because of you, I am done defending you!" Well he just kept going on about, oh who does he think he is saying i cant talk to his family, i have never done anything disrespectful to his kids, I said "It is his family and he gets to decide whether people are in there lives or not and he does not want people like you in there lives and his family agrees with him" Finally I just stopped talking to him and ignored what else he had to say.
Isn't this just sickening behaviour? I can't imagine talking to people the way he does and yet I'm scared to leave him, I feel guilty for wanting to leave him? Are you serious? A friend of mine says that I am too emotional to look at the situation rationally and says that I need to take a step back and really look at what he is doing and know that if I wasn't so emotionally attached to the situation that I would know the right thing to do, I'm trying to take a look at my life and rationalize what is going on, to try and focus on leaving and getting away from him so he will not be such an influence over our lives. Hardest fight I've ever had with myself, I wish I could just shut down my brain and do what needs to be done.
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