OUTSIDE!!

I got outside today! brushed my horses, havent done that in a long time, i felt bad. let them run around, out of the muck. my wonderful "friend" came and took care of baby for me. he is so good with her. I think i will give him a chance. i told him if he lost some weight, i know, sounds mean to say but true. but he is willing and supportive of us. he cares so much for Ariyah too. its so nice to have the help. and i did let him kiss me, just to see where i was emotionally, and i was ok with it. i dont feel the need to rush, or obligated in any way. i am O.K.   It felt so good to be outside again... after the winter and the pregnancy. my horses were communicative and so happy to have some time out with me.  i need to get out more often. and my daughter is so beautiful. i love her. i still feel unorganized, and cluttered because of the lack of space, but im generally just, good. i like being a mom. i like life today.