OutOfSorts....????
i am making peace w/ the kitchen changes. did some touch up painting today and cooked a meal for the first time in days. can't put anything in the cabinets until about sunday and heavy things even later.
i didn't go to sleep until after 1 am last night. i don't know why. i'm just so out of sorts. i talked to mm and that didn't help really. she was talking in circles and beign so after an hour of it i finally said i had a phone call coming in and just hung up... sometimes i just have to... an hour of nonsense about how i will want her stuff after she dies... omg.
it bothers her that i'm not as sentimental as she is... i don't know.... i'm just really dreading the whole summer w/ mm. i always do. then i let it go... then it gets under my skin again.
i'm going to go swim tonight. hopefully that will let me sleep. i need to burn some sage and let go of some things. i'm hanging on to jealousy. irritation. dread. it has it very unbecoming. everything is just on my nerves.
and it's eating my stomach up.
i am looking forward to getting away but then again mm wants to come with me. ugh. i know that's one thing that is really bothering me. i do not have the buffer of work to keep my distance or to keep her needs at bay.
but odat. that's all i can do this summer. just like every other program that i am doing.
namaste
G
Replies
Your "out of sorts" symptoms sound consistent with the theories that home improvement crews can hit the senses like a home invasion. I've had to scrape my husband off the ceiling for just about every home improvement crew we've ever used, and he goes off to work every day, though he spends less time at the office when there are crews available for his micro-managing pleasure.
Be patient with yourself while you recover, Ginger. Swimming sounds divine.
Gentle support while you balance your personal needs with compassion for mm. The only thing harder than finding a balance is keeping a balance.
Namaste Ginger soul. I'm behind everything on DS but still here in heart. I do often think about you and always have great admiration for your determination in life. Love to you xo Diane.
We all go through that roller coaster of human emotions. Take it easy, they always come and go . You're a good person.