Out With Geo's Sister
Geo's sister came over today and we had a good time. I played hooky from work... She came over when I was supposed to be working and I decided that I would rather go out with her than stay at work. I don't get the chance to see her often, and she's a bunch of fun, so I was happy that I got to see her. She took us out to lunch at a Japanese buffet, and then she took us to see Paranormal Activity 3. I liked the movie, even though I was scared at times, you are supposed to be. It's a scary movie for crying out loud. It was good... I had fun. I had my head buried in Geo's arm for part of the second half, but he loves that. He was laughing when I jumped at the jump scares. It was all in good fun. We just got back a little while ago.
I slept good last night. I took the 2 trazadone that I was supposed to take, and I slept good. I think I'm going to continue doing that. When I tried taking 2 of them a while back, it turned me into a zombie and I couldn't function, but now I've gotten used to them again so I think it will just help me sleep. I woke up at 8:30am ready to go, but I went back to sleep for a couple hours just to be sure. I knew Geo's sister was coming over and I wanted to be rested in case she wanted to go out and do crazy things like she normally does. Well, we did go see the movie which we wouldn't have normally done, but other than that it was good. She's on a body cleanse, so there was no drinking involved. Normally she's into going to bars and stuff, so it was nice to go to the movies (I do like going out drinking, but she drinks a bit too much sometimes and it worries me). It was nice to get out.
Mood is good today... I had a great day. I felt overfull when I went out to the buffet, but I still had a good day. I knew I shouldn't eat so much, but I couldn't help it. I had to fight off thoughts of purging, but I was good and I didn't think about it too much. I'm getting better about controlling my impulses. It's hard, especially when you are really full, to not want to throw up, but I did good in not thinking about it. Being out with Geo and his sister helped, since I know if they caught me purging I would be dead. I know Geo would be disappointed, and that helped me control it as well. I want to make Geo happy, and keeping my ED and cutting desires down is the way to go. I haven't cut or purged the whole time I've lived with Geo... that's how much I love him and don't want to disappoint him. I know he would be devastated if I did that when I was near him.
It's funny, even though I had those thoughts I still consider it a great day... I overcame them, didn't I? That's the thing to remember.... I'm only human, I'm going to have times of weakness, it's not giving into them that matters. I'm going to make sure to do my exercises today, too, to build my strength training up. Actually, I'm going to take a break and do them now. Okay, I'm back. I did my exercises for the day. I've been trying to keep up with the strength training since that's my weak spot. I know I don't burn enough calories all the time, but most of the time I do. I'm going to try and walk another 5k this week, I don't know how far I'm going to get but I'm going to try. If I wake up early enough tomorrow I'm going to go for a mile walk. I need to keep up the walking this time. The last 5k I did, I did it and then I stopped walking as much. I'm going to keep trying to do 5k until I can get a decent time on it (under 60 minutes) and keep on going for a 10k. I also need to start jogging again, so I can increase my walking speed.
Food today was okay. I was over my calories, I'm sure. My calorie tracker said I'm in my range, but I know there was stuff I ate at the buffet that I forgot about, or that they didn't have actual movie theater popcorn on their list, so I don't know how many calories that had. I just know I was in my range for everything (carbohydrates, fat, and protein) so it couldn't be that bad. I had my normal chicken thigh for breakfast, a bit of soup for a snack, then the buffet for lunch and popcorn for a light dinner. I'm still stuffed from everything, I don't think I'm going to need anything else today, especially if I go to sleep soon, which I'm planning on doing. Stress was high during the movie, but once again it was the good kind of stress. Mood has been great today, and sleep was great. I'm looking forward to waking up early and going for my walk and jog tomorrow, and then off to work!
I slept good last night. I took the 2 trazadone that I was supposed to take, and I slept good. I think I'm going to continue doing that. When I tried taking 2 of them a while back, it turned me into a zombie and I couldn't function, but now I've gotten used to them again so I think it will just help me sleep. I woke up at 8:30am ready to go, but I went back to sleep for a couple hours just to be sure. I knew Geo's sister was coming over and I wanted to be rested in case she wanted to go out and do crazy things like she normally does. Well, we did go see the movie which we wouldn't have normally done, but other than that it was good. She's on a body cleanse, so there was no drinking involved. Normally she's into going to bars and stuff, so it was nice to go to the movies (I do like going out drinking, but she drinks a bit too much sometimes and it worries me). It was nice to get out.
Mood is good today... I had a great day. I felt overfull when I went out to the buffet, but I still had a good day. I knew I shouldn't eat so much, but I couldn't help it. I had to fight off thoughts of purging, but I was good and I didn't think about it too much. I'm getting better about controlling my impulses. It's hard, especially when you are really full, to not want to throw up, but I did good in not thinking about it. Being out with Geo and his sister helped, since I know if they caught me purging I would be dead. I know Geo would be disappointed, and that helped me control it as well. I want to make Geo happy, and keeping my ED and cutting desires down is the way to go. I haven't cut or purged the whole time I've lived with Geo... that's how much I love him and don't want to disappoint him. I know he would be devastated if I did that when I was near him.
It's funny, even though I had those thoughts I still consider it a great day... I overcame them, didn't I? That's the thing to remember.... I'm only human, I'm going to have times of weakness, it's not giving into them that matters. I'm going to make sure to do my exercises today, too, to build my strength training up. Actually, I'm going to take a break and do them now. Okay, I'm back. I did my exercises for the day. I've been trying to keep up with the strength training since that's my weak spot. I know I don't burn enough calories all the time, but most of the time I do. I'm going to try and walk another 5k this week, I don't know how far I'm going to get but I'm going to try. If I wake up early enough tomorrow I'm going to go for a mile walk. I need to keep up the walking this time. The last 5k I did, I did it and then I stopped walking as much. I'm going to keep trying to do 5k until I can get a decent time on it (under 60 minutes) and keep on going for a 10k. I also need to start jogging again, so I can increase my walking speed.
Food today was okay. I was over my calories, I'm sure. My calorie tracker said I'm in my range, but I know there was stuff I ate at the buffet that I forgot about, or that they didn't have actual movie theater popcorn on their list, so I don't know how many calories that had. I just know I was in my range for everything (carbohydrates, fat, and protein) so it couldn't be that bad. I had my normal chicken thigh for breakfast, a bit of soup for a snack, then the buffet for lunch and popcorn for a light dinner. I'm still stuffed from everything, I don't think I'm going to need anything else today, especially if I go to sleep soon, which I'm planning on doing. Stress was high during the movie, but once again it was the good kind of stress. Mood has been great today, and sleep was great. I'm looking forward to waking up early and going for my walk and jog tomorrow, and then off to work!
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