Out of fuel
Saw my shrink again today. Like I already thought he said I'm probably no longer depressed. But that I'm just giving up on myself now. Even though I have the energy, I don't feel particularly urged to do something. I even missed a study-group because I was too lazy to get out of bed, something that didn't happen to me during the whole period that I was depressed. Somewhere inside me I know I'd like to get through this period ok and not bust it up. But I don't have the confidence to see this through. I don't believe in myself enough to be able to see how I'm going to get this done. I'm sort of keeping my life running and still doing the necessary things for my studies, but it's more out of obligation than out of interest or conviction. I kind of like this in a way, caring this little has lifted quite a weight off my shoulders. But feeling so uninspired and relatively numb seems wrong and alien as well. So even if I can't find it in myself to talk strength to me, I hope to find it somewhere else. Though I'm doing well physically, emotionally I'm drained. But even if I don't feel it, I know I don't want to give up now and that this too shall pass. Somehow. (Can someone tell me how?)
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I can tell you how to get motivated. Put on the special kind of music that makes you want to get going and do things you have to do, but when you play the music it makes those things seem like fun. :) That\'s what reggae does to me with housework LOL
Haha thanks for the tip :) Unfortunately it\'s exactly reggae that doesn\'t work for me, I need something uptempo!
You say that your shrink says you are no longer depressed, but what you describe sure sounds like depression to me. Depression is not just feeling sad, but also apathetical, lazy, lacking motivation to do more than get by, etc. Its like we talked about before, being a \"happy depressed person.\" I wonder if it has something to do with it being winter. Maybe you will start to feel better as the days get longer (which they are starting to do now).